Hiding behind a facade

2008-06-17T21:10:00.003+08:00

CONFIRMATION CAMP '08 (:

Truth be told, I really didn't feel like going for the camp at all. I mean, basically I joined because firstly, I thought wow, wouldn't it be cool to be a facil? I really looked up to all my church camp facils, they were so holy, so understanding etc. But then when the camp neared, I began to worry alot.

Was I holy enough to be a facil?
Was I really to take up the responsibility for 7-8 sec3s?
Am I wasting my time when I could be at home studying for exams?

Despite all this fears and anxieties, I still went for the camp. I didn't know why I did, but I did. Now, I thank the Holy Spirit for bringing me to the camp. I gained so much from the camp, besides getting to know more youths from church, I really felt like I've matured spiritually. (: PRAISE GOD! (:

1st Day, 13th June, Friday;

My brother and I reached church on the dot at 8am and guess what? There were facils later than us. Haha. James, Hubert, Michelle P and I all wore our T14 class shirt! (: It was super cool, easy to distinguish each other from the crowd.

We started off the day with icebreakers, introductory games etc. The usual games to get to know your group members. It was quite fun i have to say, but group8 was so quiet! Only Darrell talked abit, and that kept me going. (:

After that there were sessions! They started off with DIPDIP and they made the facils stand in front to dance and sing. It was so fun, seriously! The confirmants weren't quite comfortable dancing, and I don't blame them! I found it super lame and embarrasing when they first made me dance it. Then they went on with sessions done by the cathechists.

It was quite disappointing that we didn't have a long sharing time that day, but everything was so jam-packed that it couldn't be helped! We then had somemore games, they were okay I guess. Not surprisingly gross, haha. Toothpaste was like stuck in my hair and my face had some too! Thanks to darrell for bursting the balloon!

I could tell at that time, group8 started to open up a little, and hopefully they had a great time playing the games! (:
Games was followed by bath time, dinner and then sessions and rosary. The confirmants seemed to super all tired out already! Thank goodness that it was their sleep time then.

The facils and cathechists on the other hand, had to meet Fr Brian for a debrief. Many things came up during the debrief, both positive and negative, but I have to say I enjoyed the debrief! We all just had fun and joked around abit, laughed alot! (: Facils slept around 1-2am that night.

2nd Day, 14th June, Saturday;

Woke up at 6am, quite energetic! I'm a morning person, once i wake up, i'm high and awake. (: In the morning we had sessions again and group sharings. Everyone was kind of quiet, i guess they weren't quite comfortable sharing with one another just yet? I don't blame them, I was so afraid of sharing at my own confirmation camp, especially with a group of people I'm not close too and whom I didn't know if I could trust.

Games came after lunch, team bonding games. Or should i say, extremely dirty yet fun games. (: Everyone became really dirty and gross, but I could see smiles on all the confirmants faces! Facils were having a blast too. I was so clean until Shayne came and dirtied my hair with green dough made of starch. GROSS! haha. and thomas threw a handful of flour onto my face, thanks alot man! lol.

We cleaned up and had this super long break, so i started doing my touch times with the girls. Some of them looked so nervous! I hoped they enjoyed it in the end though, I know I enjoyed the personal sharing time. I was so touched (:

Then the confirmants went to watch the Passion Of the Christ while we had spiritual prep for the prayover later. Thank goodness I didn't have to watch the movie, I would have cried buckets. I was so extremely scared of the prayover session because it was my first time praying over someone! And at that time, I really didn't feel that connected to God, nor did I feel I was worthy enough to prayover someone. But something got me through it and praise God! (:

Although not many confirmants felt the Holy Spirit that night, a couple of them did and PRAISE TO GOD! (:

Deep inside though, I was disappointed. For many years, it has become sort of tradition for the camp to climax during the prayover. Usually lots of people will get slain, many will cry, some laugh etc, with the Holy Spirit touching each and every participant in His own way. But nothing much happened and I guess I got discouraged and demoralized by this.

During the debrief for facils, I found out I was not alone. Many facils became discouraged and really couldn't see how we could go on anymore. But we had too, for our dearest confirmants. Slept around 1-2am again that day.

3rd Day, 15th June, Sunday;

I was quite quiet that morning, I think my group could tell. I wasn't initiating any conversations which I try my best to do. I think it was Shayne who asked why I was so quiet? I just replied that I was tired. Didn't want to say more.

Before breakfast and the sessions that day, we had a morning prayer time for facils. As expected, many came in looking very serious and most were quiet. We went into a time of prayer, just asking God to be with us, to give us the strength to continue with the camp, and also we asked God to just let us trust Him and his plans.

After the prayer, Cheryl Anne said to all of us present that this phrase just came into her mind and it went something like " I created the mountains and the seas, do you think I do not know my own children and what they're going through? " (children meaning the confirmants, and I referring to God).

After that Mark A. shared a phrase which he had thought of the night before during debrief which went something like "you all say that you do not see signs of My love and the presence of the Holy Spirit, but that is because you keep looking for physical signs." and Mark continued by saying that we should trust in God for God has His way of doing things.

So I guess thats why I was so quiet that morning, I just kept thinking about the two phrases. After lunch we had Amazing Race. The group began to become more active, they were enjoying the time together and thats so great! (: Then it was bath time and dinner.

Night time was the climax of the camp, it really was so unexpected to all of us involved. The confirmants went through 2 more sessions before they were given the letter written by their parents. Some started crying and many of them were touched. To add to that, they got to see their parents right after reading the letter!

Some ran to parents to tell them "I love you". But we could tell that everyone felt loved and cared for that night. The facils sat at the corner and some of us even started to cry! It was just such a wonderful sight to behold. Seeing our group members embracing their parents, washing each other's feet, we just felt like "wow, we accomplished what we set off to do, the confirmants feel God's love right now".

After supper was the debrief and it was the BEST debrief we had. We were all so high and kept praising God for touching the confirmants that night. One thing i remembered was Michelle T's sharing. She told us that she had confided in her parents the night before about the prayover and how it wasn't what we facils had expected. And then her dad told her " I think that God is changing the direction of this camp." And true enough, he's right! When she said that I just got tingles through my entire body because it hit home.

God knew the troubles and burdens these batch of confirmants had long before the camp, long before we facils knew them. God has planned everything even before we facils agreed to be part of the camp. Its sad that we doubted Him during the camp, but its wonderful that after the prayer in the morning, that we placed everything in God's hands and trusted Him. PRAISE TO THE LORD! (:

It was exactly then, that I felt God's presence and love for us all. And how great and almighty our Lord is! ALLELUIA, PRAISE BE TO GOD! (:

What time did we sleep? WE DIDNT! haha, Bessie, Freeman, Timothy, Madeleine, Michelle T and Michelle P were just so high and chatty that we couldn't sleep! We spent most of the night writing warm fuzzies and just cracking lame jokes. I really had a blast! ((:

4th Day, Monday, 16th June;

The last day, I was super exhuasted but I managed to survive. Much of it is a blur actually. But I do remember that at last, my group started to share more openly during the last sharing session and PRAISE GOD! (:

We then had clean up and oh my goodness, they didn't know how to sleep! (: GIRLS, learn how to sweep okay? You need to know how to sweep if you get married, and even if you want to become a nun. Haha. Its a valuable skill (:

I have to say that when we break camp, it was so sad because I really liked my group, quiet though they might be, they are all wonderful people! (:

-------------

Pearlyn, Samantha, Beverly, Kelly,
Shayne, Darrell & Jerrard,

CONTINUE TO SEEK THE LORD
AND KEEP YOUR LOVE FOR GOD STRONG ALWAYS! (:
YOU GUYS WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS!

Boy am I glad that I was the facilitator of this group.
Though you guys took a long time to warm up to each other, and quite some time to be comfortable with sharing, you guys did, and thats what counts! (:
We may not have won the 1st prize (which isn't at all important), you guys have won in my eyes!
I hope that you guys have learnt something from the camp, however small it might have been. (:

2008-06-11T22:10:00.002+08:00

PRE-EXAMINATION STRESS;

Education has screwed my ability to think rationally.
I've just studied the whole entire day [okay maybe not the whole day, but you get my drift], and yet I still feel as though I'm not hardworking enough!

I guess I have this fear of not doing well during the mid-terms and having to look back and say, "I could have worked harder, then my grades won't be so horrid!". Not that I've ever done that to myself before, it's just this irrational fear which I feel comes from the overly-competitive environment we're in.

Let's face it, no one wants to lose, no one wants to be the last. But isn't this just over-the-top? Its killing my social life because I don't want to feel the guilt of not studying when I'm out. For goodness sake I'm not a mugger by birth, and I don't want to be a mugger. But I should think that I'm being FORCED to become a mugger! ):

Adults say treasure your school life, teenagers hate their school life. How about me? Take away the examinations and I'll do school life forever (:

I'm missing my dear cgtt mates! <3
I'm missing my dear 4P classmates! <3
I'm missing my dear Tadahh-ians! <3

& I'm missing you too! (:

2008-06-10T22:17:00.002+08:00

Haven't blogged in literally a million years!
But oh well, what to do! My life practically came to a standstill - nothing interesting happened!
Well until recently. (:

FOND MEMORIES;
I'll never forget the time we had together
Short though it might be
I'll treasure every single moment of it. (:
Come back okay?

2008-04-15T20:27:00.002+08:00

Here we go!

I was tagged by: Liselle, my spongebobby!

Game rules:

A. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.

B. These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
I would be super upset of course, but then, i'll just try to get over it. Definitely a break up though!

2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Hmm, i don't know! it will just be super super awkward! ):

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
The wedding ceremony at my parish church and then the rest of it (dinner and all) at a nice sandy beach! HAHA. you asked about DREAM wedding didn't you! haha. girls have the right to dream ((:

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
I wouldn't say confused, just momentarily ambition-less and plan-less. (:

5. What's your ideal lover like?
A guy that is loving, caring, faithful, kind, generous etc. All the usual stuff girls look for in a guy! haha. Able to be romantic is a plus! :D haha

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
I would say generally if you truly love someone, its usually mutual? Just that people use the word "love" quite loosely nowadays. So i would say that for me, there's no answer for that! It depends on a case to case basis anyway. (:

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
I will say most likely I won't purposefully wait. I mean, it might even be like an infatuation or something! If the person doesn't accept, i'll give myself time to see if i truly like him first before deciding if i should wait. But i doubt i will wait. If he doesn't accept first, maybe he's not the right one! X: haha

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I don't think i will care that much, especially if i like him from afar. haha

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Yeah, but you didn't say elaborate, so i won't. Haha. Its personal ((:

10. What do you want most in life?
To have a good time with my family, friends etc.

11. Is being tagged fun?
haha hmm, since its by my spongebobby, i say YEAH. haha ((:

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
Be super disappointed in them both because i'm supposed to be able to trust them. And move on because its not worth crying over!

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
Is God counted as a person? hahaha

14. What kind of person do you think I am?
Funny, nice, caring, RANDOMLY HIGH, crappy, smiley and always bubbly! haha AND YELLOW ((:

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
married and poor, at least i'll be emotionally satisfied (taking the assumption that my marriage is a good one) haha ((:

16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognize you, what would you do/how would you react?
i dont think i'll be that bothered! haha

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
yeah i will, but i wont like put relationship way above my family, friends and studies. I'll try to balance what i put into it and how much. (:

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
that won't happen! haha rubbish.

19. What type of friends do you like?
happy and dependable ones! (:

20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?
I would laugh if it isn't a mean prank! haha

I tag: zona, shermaine, wanling, natalie wee, eileen, jesiska, rachel ong, sorna! GO DO IT (:

2008-03-29T21:24:00.002+08:00

Dear T'adahhians,

It has been so long since i last saw you guys. I really really miss you guys so much. You guys made life in RJC fun and memorable. If only i were there with you guys even morning for the usual morning meetings, monday mornings for breakfast at j8 etc.

Nette darling, i miss you loads and loads! I feel so sad when i remember how i'm losing so much precious time that i could have spent talking to you and the rest of T'adahh. ):

I LOVE YOU!

xoxo,
gmary.

;Left you guys a space in my heart

2008-03-09T20:28:00.002+08:00

1T14 2008 <33

CJ has been doing me good. (: I'm beginning to fall in love with CJ more and more.
It's funny how i felt that i was forced to be in CJ. Well, let me explain.
I don't usually like to tell this story because well, people might say i'm using this as an excuse to cover up the embarressment from not being able to enter RJ again. But i thought to myself, as long as i know it's true, that's all that matters! (:

So it was like this. For pae, i scored 6 points for L1R5 raw score. I was glad, of course, and decided to try for RJ. I mean Raffles is like this dream school of mine! I put RJ as first choice and CJ as second. I was quite sure i would get into RJ. But, I didnt! I got into CJ instead.

I was quite adamant about getting into RJ, so i appealed and i got in! I enjoyed the time i spent there. The friends i made were awesome and i miss them loads ((: But i knew deep inside that maybe God doesn't want me in RJ, thats why i got into CJ.

So when O's was going to be released, i told God to let me know His plans, which school He wants me to go. And i even told Him not to do so subtlely because i won't catch it. So i guess i brought it upon myself when i couldn't get back into RJ, TWICE. haha.

I was quite disappointed, i kept asking myself why i couldn't do better for O's and i also questioned God why is He doing all this to me. But i slowly began to understand that perhaps CJ is the place for me! I feel like i can fit in and my class though mugger is filled with fantastic people (:

I LOVE 1T14 2008! (:
I LOVE T'ADAHH! (:

2008-02-24T19:04:00.002+08:00

HONOO! (:

That's right, i'm now in catholic junior college. Quite obviously i was quite upset that i didn't get back into raffles junior college, but i'm loving cjc alot now! I will still miss all my friends in rjc especially T'adahh-ians and 09SO6G though!

Orientation at CJC was amazing! I was actually dreading it because i knew how gross the games would be. But guess what! Gross games are actually fun! Haha! All the starch, rose syrup, soap water, shampoo and loads and loads of water. FUN!

Honoo house should have won! TRIBAL (: Haha. But oh well, orientation finale was fun. I didn't get to know my ig that well but the people in it are fun! Haha. WHOOPEE!

WHATEVER WHATEVER!
SHAKE SHAKE IN SHAKE SHAKE OUT!

CJC makes me super high ((:

2008-02-02T18:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY! ((:

I can't believe one month has come and gone! I really had a heck of a wonderful time with you guys and i love you guys loads. (: Let us not die off okay? Let's keep the mass convos and morning meetings going! We can make it dears, i know we can ((:

-- -- -- --

Today's cgtt meeting was a failure. We were all supposed to meet for breakfast but shermaine msged me early in the morning to say that only she and i could make it! It was so disappointing! I was looking forward to see everyone again. ):

So anyway, i went to J8 at about 9.30am to buy groceries with my mum at NTUC and we ate fishball noodles for breakfast! Yumyum. Shermaine came soon, and we went to Long John's to get her breakfast.

Lynette and margaret joined us at about 11am and we chatted for awhile. Haha. Its amazing how many of my secondary school friends nette knows now! (: We went to the " YOUth of heart" thing while Qingyu was our tourguide!

After that nette left, so margaret, zona and i met with jesiska before going around J8 helping margaret look for a chinese new year outfit and a pair of ear rings for me! It was quite fun! After that jesiska left and yunmin came! So the 4 of us went to eat at mos burger.

I'm so glad because this is my first time going out with my dearest margaret! (((:

2008-01-29T20:21:00.000+08:00

LOOKING BACK;

I was looking through my drawer when i found my 2007 journal. Of course i stopped writing just 2 weeks after i started, but at least it isn't all that empty!

I was so shocked when i read what i wrote! Gosh, i didn't realise how open i was. Journal is supposed to be a private thing but what if someone actually read it? I'll be embarrassed for life. But anyhow, its fun reading it and remembering what i went through (:

maybe i still like him. maybe

BACK TO THE PRESENT;

I got into guitar club (: I really want to learn how to play a guitar so i can play during praise and worship sessions! Its super noob to rely on cds, and somehow not that nice too! Oh, i have guitar tomorrow! Goodness gracious me, i'm going to have to drag the guitar around all day. ):

And i'm beginning to love 09SO6G! <33
I didn't exactly dislike the class or anything, I was just too attached to T'adahh! I felt abit cheated that i have to start making friends all over again. But now, i have the best of both worlds! My og-mates and my classmates are wonderful marvellous people.
I LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS! ((:

I had the pe diagnostic test today and even though i did horribly, i'm just so glad its over! Someone, please train with me. ):

I can't wait for sunday to come again! We're going to finish answering the questions that Father Brian asked us to answer and we might actually start coming up with a new group name! FSC is nice, but we didn't get to choose it for ourselves. Its like we have no ownership of the group! I'm so excited. ((:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL JANUARY BABIES IN 6G! <33
there are so many of you!

CONGRATS TO MARG AND NETTE WHO GOT INTO ODAC! <33
you guys can be cca-mates now!

2008-01-27T19:26:00.000+08:00

ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS

It's pretty funny how people find courage behind a computer screen. Oh well, cowardice i guess (: It's okay "anonymous", whoever you are, i know you're only human.

2008-01-19T20:13:00.000+08:00

♥ RAFFLES JC ♥

Don't ask me why, but i am so in love with T'adahh (:

2008-01-17T17:54:00.000+08:00

Okay so after much feedback, i decided to change my blogskin!
How's this one? I dont think its easier to read or anything since the text box thing is still considerably small.
But I love it because it's a christian blogskin!
Kudos to the designer (:

Anyway, today was quite a slack day. We had student development in the morning, quite crappy. lol. After that was physics practical! Mr Chong is a super nice teacher, he will patiently explain to you if you don't understand something.
After that we had chemistry lecture, econs tutorial and pe lesson.
We took height and weight for pe so it wasn't that bad. I'm still aching all over from tuesday's pe! I am so unfit. ):

I don't want to get my results back!
I love T'adahh, 09sO6G, bayley waddle and RJC too much!

2008-01-11T21:52:00.000+08:00

shengwei, sorna, me! (:

me, joanne, yenyen! (:

BWMRKISTAN!

Okay it didnt exactly started off very fun, but with all the cam whoring, it was great! (:

I LOVE T'ADAHH!

ps. sorry sabrina! i didnt take any pic with you! ):

2008-01-10T19:22:00.000+08:00

T'ADAHH (:

Orientation is over but i still love BW09 and will always love it! It is the most wonderful OG i can ever ask for. (:
Although the majority of the group came from Raffles, they have been such wonderful people! They really opened up and welcomed me into the Rafflesian family.

Thanks guys! I really appreciate it. If my results permit me, and i do come back to rjc, it will be because of you guys!

I hope that we will continue to keep it up and meet every morning before school! (: The conversations, lunches and dinners we have are extremely enjoyable. Daobo and Ningyu's gay humour, Salad's funny expression (especially when you found out i'm chinese!), lynette and yen's blurness etc.

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH T'ADAHH! ♥
LOVE YOU OGLS, JOANNE, SABRINA AND SHENGWEI! ♥

♥ ♥ ♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SORNA & YENYEN! (:
I hope you have a great year ahead. ((:

2008-01-08T19:16:00.000+08:00

T'ADAHH! (:

School has started and i'm no longer in cedar! I miss cedar loads. In RJC, cedarians are like the minority which makes me feel kind of lonely at times. But boy am i lucky to get such wonderful og mates!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!

2007-11-19T16:35:00.000+08:00

CLUELESS.
ABSOLUTELY CLUELESS.

Today is monday, and i have another 2 days to decide which JC i want to choose for PAE. It's not such an easy decision! Mainly because i had loads of time to analyze the pros and cons of each and every JC i could think of.

1. RJC - its dominated by all the present rafflesians!
2. HCI - the culture is more to the chinese side isnt it.
3. CJC - the PE lesson makes me hesitant
4. VJC - its too damn far!

I have already ruled out RJC and VJC for reasons stated above and well, others too. I feel that CJC is a really great school, even for me! Who, i might add, only went to a catholic kindergarten. When my friends and i went for the open house, the students there were so warm and friendly. BUT, the PE lesson really scares me!

For many, PE is just PE. But i have a phobia of PE lessons because i can never excel in them and i hate the feeling of exhuastion and having to pant to get oxygen into my body! Hate it.

So, I'm so sorry James! I know you want me to go CJC because you have experienced what a wonderful school it is. But i'm really afraid of such dreadful PE lessons and i dont like to dread going to school and begin to dislike school altogether because the PE there sucks. I want to go to a school which i will love! If only the PE there was not as tough [everyone knows CJC's PE is the toughest], i would not hesitate to put it as 1st choice. But it is. Who knows? Maybe I won't be able to get into my 1st and 2nd choice and be posted to CJC in the end! Then i know God wants me to go there. (:

I hope that in the end, the decision i made is the right one and that everyone will be behind me in my choice!

2007-07-25T21:10:00.000+08:00

THE LAST LEG OF THE RACE;

The end of the race is approaching and yet i don't feel like i'm ready for it. Only time will tell. Someone, please motivate me to work harder!

It was fun while it lasted, but now its over.

2007-07-03T19:51:00.000+08:00

COUNTING DOWN;
54 days to prelims & 112 days to O levels
i'm hanging on, are you?

2007-06-27T18:13:00.000+08:00

In loving memory of THADDEUS CHEONG;

Many including myself, do not know you personally, but somehow we love you and will miss you. We regret not getting to know you because you're one of a kind.

Many have spoken today at the mass dedicated to you, and we, friends of your beloved cousin Benedicta, have begun to see and realise why so many people love you and are crying at your sudden departure.

Although we do not know you that well, we cry that the world and us have lost a wonderful person, a wonderful son and friend. You have lived your life to the fullest, and managed to touch the hearts of many around you.

Your caring and loving heart, your genorosity to others, your modesty are but a few of your traits that everyone will miss.

You are but an angel and a saint, sent by God to touch the hearts of everyone mourning for your passing. There are no other words to describe you fully as said by your mum, but i think that calling you a Saint and an Angel is what the truth, and it is what you are.

I have never seen so many people cry and mourn for a person's passing before, and I realise that you are one of a kind Thaddeus, you are truly one of a kind.

Father Weerakoon cited an example to show how you put others before yourself, how you care for others:

He said that you knew that he enjoyed steam fish, and so you went to catch a fish to cook for him and not just buy it from the market. He also said that you turned down your grandma's offer of helping to cook the beef stew for dinner and that you would do it yourself even though it would be after your race on Sunday.

Singapore should be given a chance to know about you, the boy that ran and trained hard for the country. That you aren't only a triathlete that is so determined to win a medal for the country, but also a kind-hearted, wonderful, sweet, caring boy at heart.

I regret not getting the opportunity to meet you and to get to know you and I'm sure Denise, Bessie, Madeleine and Aaron feels the same way.

You left this world of trials and tribulations doing something you loved and enjoyed, to a place where peace and love reigns. The family members and friends you left behind miss you dearly and will forever love you.

Your legacy and goodness will never be forgotten in the hearts of your family, friends and the members of SFX church community.

Love,
Gracemary.

YOU HAVE FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT
[Dedicated to Thaddeus Cheong]
composed & written by Trevor Nerva & Jonathan Wong

You are our brother, you are our friend
All the times we've shared together
We wish they'd never end
Now that you're gone
We will miss your presence dearly
With each passing day
We'll think of you and pray...

You have fought the good fight
You have run and finish the race
You have kept the faith
Now you see God face to face
Now you see God face to face

Peace be with you, as you make your journey home
And whene'er we pray together
We'll feel your spirit too
We'll still feel your smile
Through your warm embraces
You have touched our lives
And hearts in a special way

And when the night has ended
We'll see the dawn come through
Our brokenness all mended
We'll see God's love shining through

We will fight the good fight
We will run and finish the race
We will keep the faith
We will see God face to face
Then we'll see God face to face

The power of goodness and kindness;
The sea of pink in church earlier was really a beautiful moment that i wish i could have captured for eternity.

2007-06-24T19:59:00.000+08:00

LIFE;

We will never know when its our time to go, how much time we have left in this world etc. Only God knows. We also won't know how we will leave this earth, and therefore unable to prevent it. We have always been told that God must have His reasons for taking our loved ones away, but its had for us to comprehend because we do not know the reasons!

I guess thats where our faith in God plays a major role. If we have faith, we will trust in God and His plans for all of us and not question His actions. But then again, its hard to think that there is actually a valid reason for a loved one to be taken away from us. Definitely, valid isn't the right term to be used here because God does not need a valid reason to take someone to Him.

Life&Death, I usually like to avoid this topic because it scares me. I feel so helpless and powerless because I can't choose how I want to die, and when I want to die. God does. So it scares me, alot. But I can't go on forever like this, avoiding this subject which is ultimately going to affect me or happen to me.

Life is short, even shorter than we all believe it to be. And yet here we are [we refers to teenagers in general], slashing and commiting suicide. Where is the logic beneath all these acts of self-harm and self-mutilation? I don't think there is any logic at all. I personally think its dumb and foolish. Thats just my opinion.

I sometimes feel that it is so unfair and unjust to some people. They want to live, they find the reason for living, and yet they are the ones who become victim to "death" at such young ages. And the people that keep saying that they want to die, get to live to ripe old ages. Why? Not that I'm trying to say that those people deserve death of course, because no one deserves to die [especially under the hands of other humans].

2007-06-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

HOLIDAYS OVER!
& the marathon begins

SCHOOL;
Not exactly the most important thing or place in the world, but our parents and teachers make us perceive it to be. A place of bad memories? Definitely. But it's also the place where i meet majority of my friends, learn some knowledge which can be quite satisfying at times [times of which could be quite low relatively] etc. Not to mention just hanging out during recess, between lessons and trainings, learning journeys. I love my friends and school, but not school. Get what i mean? Oh well. I don't get myself all that much either.

CHURCH;
The place of worship, a serene environment where one can pray, reflect, read the bible etc. I must admit I have never really done any actual reflection, I just can't concentrate! I used to really dread going to church on sundays because of catechism, but now that its over, I can actually say that I look forward to sundays. FSC, the new youth group, though inexperienced, I believe that everyone is doing their best to improve the sessions and to really bond with each other. Its wonderful, thats just what keeps me in this youth group - the people in it. With more prayers, patience, practice and faith, we are going to be one heck of a youth group.

Lord, tell me where to go and what to do. Be with me on this marathon and journey I'm about to embark on.

2007-06-19T19:33:00.000+08:00

TALENT-LESS
I can't believe I can't dsa, not that I've tried of course. I don't think I even want to dsa, but the fact that I can't upsets me. I'm no good at table tennis, I know that. So why did I even join table tennis in secondary school?! [oh right, I appealed]

I keep thinking, what if I joined, band or choir? I could actually do well in those ccas because I have musical background, and dsa using them! I think its dumb that you must have achievements/documents to show that you are good in an area. I know of many people who can sing darn well but do not belong to a choir. I guess black&white still says alot.

ON ANOTHER NOTE,
i love custard apples!

2007-06-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO WATCH POTC 3! ((:
who will watch with me?

I'm back to being a horrible person again, i just hope that this time, it will pass quickly. Anyway, prelims is coming, what am i doing online? argh.

I want to admit it.

2007-06-04T20:27:00.000+08:00

♥ RMUN 2007, Georgia&GA2
`raffles model united nations conference

It was not how I imagined it to be, it was even better. I can still remember how stressed I was
before the conference itself, thinking that "gosh, I'm wasting precious time that could be used for revising on RMUN." I was so upset and stressed to the extent that some of us went to Mr Yau. Of course, he managed to convince and persuade us that it is going to be a great experience and that we should not get so stressed up because we were doing well academically. So, we went.

The first day was kind of scary, I was clueless about the procedures and what to expect. When we first reached the LT3 for the debate to adjourn, my heart was beating so fast! I found out that I was sitting next to JunJie, delegate of France, and also beside Cheryl, delegate of Germany. Not surprising, JunJie received a lot of notepapers and he also went up to speak a lot. And thats an understatement. Oh, but he was good though, very good.

The second day was not that scary, I can actually say that it was fun. The crisis got everyone thinking and moving about and have I love unmoderated caucases! I got quite used to all the referring oneself as a third person thing, although I didn't speak. What can I say, I was still nervous! The second day ended quite quickly, I wasn't counting down like I did on the first day.

The third day was the best of all! After 1.5 hours of debate, the directors ended the debate with some witty comments. I think its safe to say that the directors of GA2 were the best directors of all! Then we had the fashion parade, which was pretty much a disaster for Georgia. Belgium's and Hungary's skit was hilarious though, everyone thoroughly enjoyed them. Oh, Iran's was quite comical too. After the fashion parade was D&D! [Dinner&Dance]

The theme for the D&D this year was 007, James Bond. I was quite hesistant as first, but when the upbeat music started, we all couldn't resist dancing! I danced with 4P mates and with GA2 mates, it was so fun! It was pretty much like a dream kind of feeling, a fairytale. Boy do i want that night to come back! Nerds come alive! (:

I would just like to give a shout out to:

Charlotte from CHIJ Saint Nic's;
Thank you for your letter girl, it was so touching. Its interesting how friends can be made so quickly. I'm glad to have met you because you are one heck of a friend, nice to have someone to chit-chat with when everyone else was so serious discussing about resolutions and all. (:

Helena from SCGS;
Hey girl, didn't really talk to you until the unmoderated caucas on the last day. Better late then never! Had fun talking to you and hanging out at the D&D too! You're one great girl and great friend. Have fun on your holiday! (:

Cheryl from Raffles Girls;
Germany Germany Germany, it was fun sitting next to you on the second day. I could tell that both you and i were absolutely clueless! Oh, not to mention freezing too. I could almost feel a frostbite coming along. Passing notepapers with you was fun too! (:

JunJie from Hwa Chong;
France france, you can never keep quiet for minimum 10 minutes during the debate can you! I should have bet a 100 bucks when we made those bets then, i would be rich by now! And boy were you busy, with all the notepapers passing to and fro. Best delegate of GA2, you are one heck of a dancer and speaker! (:

I LOVE YOU GUYS FROM GA2 2007 &
I LOVE RMUN 2007
(:

2007-05-09T20:14:00.000+08:00

PRELIMS & O LEVELS! ):
-after mid years, i dont have anymore confidence.

How could i be so stupid as to shade my answers wrongly for physics? Section B and C was extremely difficult, so now that i lost 10 marks in mcq at least, i am not going to do well. Heck, i might not even pass.

The other papers were just as bad. Right, DEAD MEAT.

2007-04-18T19:17:00.000+08:00

WHY CEDAR SO PRO! (:
-cgtt 07 is power

Today was the last "CEDAR" the cgtt sec4s will ever do! Gosh, time does fly when one is in sec4. The last match of the year and the last match as a part of cgtt. Emotional day for most of us sec4s!

But guess what, CEDAR won! So this year, our b div clinched the 2nd runner up (bronze) while our juniors, c div are the new champions!

YINGCHAO, YINGXIN, AUDREY, YUWEI, VALERIE, ESTHER, HONGPEI, PEIWEN :
CGTT 07 IS SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS!
you did your best and made cedar proud. (:

WANLING, ZONA, SHERMAINE, ZHEN NA, YU TING, YUZHEN, HANJIAN:
YOU GUYS ROCK MY WORLD!
not only did you make cedar proud, you made this year the most memorable year for sec4s! (:

I take it that c div's champion title and b div's 2nd runner-up title are the best sweet sixteen present i could ever get! Intangible present, the best of all.

I WILL MISS CGTT LOADS!
I WILL MISS MY DARLING PEERS!
I WILL MISS MY CRAPPY SEC3 JUNIORS!
I WILL MISS THE FOREVER NOISY SEC2 JUNIORS!
AND I WILL MISS THE NONSENSICAL SEC1 JUNIORS!

2007-04-15T19:54:00.000+08:00

THANKS GUYS! ((:
-benedicta, bessie and aaron, thanks loads for the cake!
-thomas heng, thanks for the present!
-madeleine, thanks for the kitkats!

2007-04-12T21:37:00.000+08:00

LAST OFFICIAL TRAINING!
Actually, my last official training should be next monday, but i can't make it. So instead, my last official training and duties to table tennis ends today. It's kind of sad really.

Cedar Girls Table Tennis team is the only thing that remained the same for me for 4 years! My class changed in secondary 3, i made new friends, different teachers etc. Oh no, am i also going to blog about how i'm going to miss cgtt like everyone else?

Well, i guess i can't help it because i have become so attached to cgtt! My darlings are all there, and together, we graduate from Cedar too. My juniors, trouble-makers and "guai-kias" all have been a fun to be around and will be kind of sad to not be able to talk to them as often.

CGTT, JIAYOU FOR THE LAST AND FINAL MATCH FOR 2007!
C DIV, DO YOUR BEST AND MAKE US ALL PROUD OF YOU GUYS!
B DIV, ALL THE WAY, WE CAN SOOO DO IT! (:

2007-04-08T20:40:00.000+08:00

SCREW THE EMO FAD,
yes, i'm anti-slashing & anti-horizontally striped shirts.

You can never tell if someone is really sad and emotionally low or if that person is just following the new emo fad. Slashing and being emotional becoming a fad for teens nowadays, who knew!

Black baggy pants, converse shoes, gothic necklaces and accessories, horizonally striped shirts. The typical emo look this days. I think that for starters, do away with the striped shirts. Its horrid horrid horrid! Go back to wearing the plain black shirts, must nicer and more sophisticated. Even though i'm guessing emo people don't really put sophistication as their number one goal.

And slashing is another thing! Mutilating one's own body is a sick sick thought. Imagine having those scars for life, one will forever be reminded of one's own stupidity and that isn't good! Demoralising in fact.

But everyone will go through this "emo phase" in their teens. I have gone through it, and i'm glad to say that i didn't slash myself, nor did i buy those fugly shirts. Hooray to me! (: Oh, how could i forget, i managed to get through the emo phase with my friends' love and support. LOVES to my friends.

2007-04-08T11:55:00.000+08:00

EASTER SUNDAY! (:

Yesterday i went for the easter vigil, surprised that i went actually. Was not keen on going until james said he was going to go with cornerstone, so i thought i might as well go with fsc then. NO LINK, i know. Oh well. Practically all the girls in fsc were wearing dresses!

The mass was extremely long, no one told me there was going to be 7 readings okay! I was super shocked. So we all squeezed into one pew, 8 girls and 2 guys. Funny because there was quite a number of empty seats, but we went as a youth group, so im guessing its better if we sat together. (:

After mass we took a long time, i mean very long time, before we decided to go to coffee bean. Hung out for awhile enjoying the aircon before i had to leave.

BUT, that wasn't the highlight of the night, or day. The fact that our LORD died and ROSE again is what we are celebrating. REJOICE FOR THE LORD HAS RISEN TODAY! (:

-im not proud of it, but i can't tie friendship bands )):

2007-03-27T19:45:00.000+08:00

CGTT JIAYOU! (:
We're in top 8 nationals already.
Let's do the best we can.
SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS!

2007-03-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

WEEKENDS!

I always look forward to weekends, but not so until this year. Weekends is like a short holiday. Even though i have tuitions on weekends, its still my time to rest and take a break!

I never study on weekends, to me, its just wrong. But i guess i have to learn to do so sooner or later, not going to fail my o levels just because of this belief of mine. I love sundays! Absolutely adore them.

Firstly, i get to go to church! And well, i have to admit youth group meetings is getting more interesting i should say. I talk to most of the people in the youth group now, and its just a time to crap and have fun with church people.

Secondly, i.. just ADORE them! (:

And now, sad to say. Another weekend is coming to an end and the horrible terrible weekdays have come once again. Come on, we can all make it through to the next weekend together (:

2007-03-20T21:04:00.000+08:00

APRIL
i'm dreading it because of midyear and napfa
But i'm looking forward to it because its my birthday month
Gosh, how confusing. ):

2007-03-18T20:52:00.000+08:00

GOODNESS ME.
Girls gossip, who doesn't know that!
Gossiping is bad, it's a sin
But, i really can't stop
someone, help me! ):

2007-03-13T19:27:00.000+08:00

AFTER O LEVELS,
was talking to yiping online a few days back and she got thinking me about where i want to go after o levels. To me, it isn't really much of a decision on my part, but on the results i receive. Of course, i need to put in loads of hardwork to achieve good results.

My options and views were limited to catholic junior college if i get better than 13, and perhaps the polytechnic, tourism and management course, if i get worse than 13. Yiping said that her choices were firstly, SJI international scholarship. If not, hwa chong junior college.

SJI international, gosh. I had never thought that i could actually consider the school because the school fees are extremely high and that i could never get a scholarship. Should i give trying to get a scholarship from there a shot?

It's weird but it is as if junior college is the last chance for me to be in a catholic school. The only catholic school i had ever been to was my kindergarten! Which is pathetic really. So, should i consider going for the scholarship?

Wait, if i want that, i should be studying hard! What the heck am i doing here? crap.

LOOKS DONT MATTER, i think.

2007-03-12T19:04:00.000+08:00

SKINNY = PRETTY? not to me it isn't.

Call me wet blanket or sour grapes, i still think being skinny doesn't make one pretty. In fact, i think it makes one look well, perpetually lethargic and sick.

I just watched the Tyra Banks show earlier and it was like a wake up call really. The media is partially to blame, and we are to blame too. The media is doing its job advirtising and publicising. But it isnt our job or duty to take it whatever is thrown at us!

Thats how stupid young girls of this generation can be.

2007-02-24T16:01:00.000+08:00

REPLY TAGS

vina: thanks girl (:

shermaine: no problem! (:

jesiska: SMACK YOU!

2007-02-23T17:39:00.000+08:00

LETS CLEAR MISUNDERSTANDINGS.

Stella, its apparent that you are angry with us as can be seen from your blog post. But i would really like to clear up some misunderstandings before tuesday's meeting.

I didnt ask you guys to spilt up into cliques. Coming training on different days does not mean you must stop being a united batch [which if you did not notice, we seniors are happy that you guys can be so united]. I gave you guys two options. To come on different training days, or if you want to come on same training days, i'm fine with that. Just make sure that at least 3 or 4 of you are training at a given time.

And i'm sure you would have noticed the exaggeration of the situation in your blog post. When did we ever say any of such things like you're taking up too much space? You are putting words into our mouth. I'm not trying to make the situation worse, but it is really not respectful and rude. You may not think we are worth respecting, but everyone deserves some respect from others.

I really hope that you come to understand the situation from the senior's point of view and realise that we are doing all these things which you clearly are pissed about for a reason. And your first para is very obvious as to who you are referring too.

Take it like this, she asks people to tuck in their shirts, she has. But they dont listen to her all the time. Does that mean you have to disobey her as well? No, you dont have too. You can set an example and tuck in your shirt. We aren't picking on you stella, so don't think that we are that biased.

Once again, dont take it that im picking on you or embarressing you using this blog post. I'm clearing some misunderstandings that were in your blog because it wasnt fair to some seniors. Okay? Thanks. If you feel that i'm maligning you or anything of that sort, you can msg me to tell me. (:

Love in christ,
gmary

2007-02-20T21:34:00.000+08:00

CEDAR GIRLS TABLE TENNIS! (:

my one true love!
we are the team that takes everything in our stride and learn from our mistakes.
we are the team that supports one another all the way
we are the team that happens to be the bigger "person".

CGTT, ALL THE WAY!

2007-02-20T21:13:00.000+08:00

FSC is dwindling by the day
-okay fine, so i'm exaggerating.

I went for daily mass with my family yesterday because well, i felt extremely bored at home the whole day having no one to visit. Then i happened to observe this family sitting about 2 pews infront of us. The mother picked up her little girl and carried her, but the girl cried and stretched out for the maid. Happened a few times.

I feel kind of sad for the mother, but thats what you get if you have to juggle between work and parenthood right? Well, can't exactly blame her since almost everyone is doing it this day. Actually, my parents did that too and i became very attached to my first maid. The good thing was that my parents were also on good terms with my maid, so all of us was like a giant family.

We ate together, watched television together and even went on holidays together. So my relationship with my parents didnt suffer although both of them were working parents. She stayed with us for about 10 years before going off to work in hongkong. i miss her loads and i heard she just got married. congrats merilyn (:

So after mass we went to The Vines to eat with my godmother, my cousin and my other aunt who happens to be my brother's godmother. After eating, we went to visit this great grandmother (paternal side). She's so cute! She took out this fake jackpot machine and started playing with it. Haha. The innocence of old age.

After that we went to visit my granduncle who lives 5 mins walk from the first house we visited. He is so bloody hilarious. The lame jokes he tell really cracked all of us up. He beat my brother at being lame. haha! Had a blast there. (:

2007-02-18T21:20:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CNY! (:

i had to eat 2 reunion dinners yesterday, it was okay i guess. I ended up eating super little and ate some snacks when i got home instead.

today wasn't much fun. i went for 9am mass with my family, went to the cemetry and then went back home. stayed home the rest of the day. i have no one to visit at all this year. pathetic.

2007-02-16T19:58:00.000+08:00

16 Feb is officially declared as 4P's day! (:
the total defence stunt was excellent, and the cny performance was the finale making it the highlight! we totally rock!

2007-02-14T18:08:00.000+08:00

CGTT! (:

the zonals 2007 competitions has ended and im proud of you all. you did a fantastic job! B DIV, WE ROCK! LOVES AND HUGS.

2007-02-11T19:32:00.000+08:00

YOUTH RALLY!

the pray over session part was the best, because it was a manifestation of God's love unfolding right before my eyes. alot of people went to the front to be prayed over by the prayer teams and guess what? practically everyone got slain! it was really an amazing sight. PRAISE GOD! (:

fallacy fallacy fallacy. how annoying.

2007-02-04T18:18:00.000+08:00

I'm getting really confused.

The coming week is going to be horrendous, i hope i would be able to make it through the week alive. Thats all i'm asking, to survive the week. 2 practicals and 2 common tests. I'm beginning to realise how hectic sec4 life is, and it sucks.

I want to go back to the years where i spend most of my time slacking. Sec1 wasn't really a hectic year, but i took awhile to adjust to being in a secondary school. Its like a huge amount of stress had been place on me and i was expected to deal with it. I'm glad to say i did it.

Sec2 was a great year. Though it was streaming, at that point in time, i was already quite close and used to my new classmates. The number of subjects didnt increase, thank goodness and i enjoyed being in cgtt.

Sec3 i think is the best year ever! I got to be in the wonderful 3P'06 and i'm totally in love with us. (: Not to mention how i became so close to my darling cliqueseven!

YOUTH RALLY NEXT WEEK
should i go?

2007-01-31T20:33:00.000+08:00

CGTT 07
- i have confidence in you (:

The competitions are about to start, first match being on friday. I know you guys can do it.
wanling, shermaine, zona, yuting, zhen na, yu zhen, hanjian jiayou!
audrey, yuwei, pei wen, valerie, esther, yingchao, yingxin jiayou!

MY NEW PARTNER!
mrs chew made us change sitting partners today. so i had to say byebye to deborah, but hopefully mrs chew will let us be partners again next month. (:
my new parter is chia yunmin! yes, can you believe that? im super glad. plus, samantha is just beside us. it couldnt be any better!!

2007-01-30T20:38:00.000+08:00

HUMOUR
the topic for the Arena

Its comical to hear them debate about humour because to me, i dont see any sense in this debate. Its weird how debaters have this local and foreign accent combined today. Sounds kind of funny.

Mrs Chew was talking about "going steady" today during CE lesson. She was extremely amusing when classmates started to sabotage each other. That was the only lesson of the day that i was awake.

Somehow there isnt much to blog about this days. Our lives are becoming too packed and serious. AH. )):

2007-01-29T20:07:00.000+08:00

CHEMISTRY SPA
its over, finally. it wasnt that tough, hope i didnt make any careless mistakes though!

-you are making me so confused

valentines day is coming! oh no, note writing time again. )):

2007-01-28T13:07:00.000+08:00

PROUD TO BE A CATHOLIC (:

I recently heard that well, someone i know is against catholism. and what makes it even more frightening is the fact that she is a christian, protestant to be exact. Christians are not just made up of the protestants, but the catholics as well. So i don't really get why some denominations are against catholics. We all believe in the same God and get this straight once and for all, catholics do not worship mother mary but merely honour her.

Is it only in singapore that protestants and catholics are so seperated? Because i heard that in other countries, they accept each other under the common title christians. Both protestants and catholics believe in Jesus christ. It is only that protestants do alot of bible study while catholics do not. Instead we take our lifetime as a time to know more about God and more of personal experiences with God.

ONCE AGAIN, WE STILL BELIEVE IN THE SAME GOD.

That isn't the only thing that makes me kind of pissed off. Just because she is a protestants and against us catholics, she has no right to force --- to not come to a catholic church when --- really wants to come. What right does she have to choose a religion for ---? The role as a relative perhaps? Stop thinking that way because the fact that you are linked by blood does not mean you have control over her beliefs.

If she wants to be a catholic, then so be it. Stopping her would perhaps stop her from ever learning about Christ. That isnt acceptable now is it?

On a lighter note, today's session was okay. Not many people came today but after the praise and worship, john was telling us about some fascinating stories including ghost stories. Not bad. We should all go to the youth rally together. that would be fun! ((:

2007-01-26T20:27:00.000+08:00

STRESS ):

I have loads of homework this weekend, not to mention the fact that we have chemistry SPA on monday! Two summaries, can you believe that? And we have to write 2 drafts for each summary before we can write the final draft. wth, its going to take alot of time. I hope i won't fail the summaries because then i would have wasted alot of my time.

I fell asleep reading the first passage which was about giant ants invading this small town. boring. Next i have to do 2 chinese banyueji. I can't do the online one because i dont have the website nor the instructions. I better get it from someone soon. I did the other banyueji article already. So one down. Also have to do chemistry worksheet and study for chemistry SPA.

gosh, i'm going to break down.
both mentally and physically.

2007-01-24T20:09:00.000+08:00

PINK DOLPHIN (:

i am suddenly on this pink dolphin craze again. i remember when pink dolphin first came out, i was absolutely in love with it. I'm refering to the drink by the way, though the animal itself is adorable.
american idol season 6 has started! yay, i love watching it because the final 10 or so are so super talented, a thousand times better than singapore idol. To me of course. And the auditions are hilarious. I wonder how those people can be so thick skinned as to go and audition when their voices really suck. Perhaps they're tone-deaf.

Chemistry practical next week. I'm getting nervous and freaking out since marks are counted for o levels, but i havent started studying. I really wish that ms sim is still my chemistry teacher, why oh why must she be the head of resource! ):

mangosteen mangosteen!

i miss the times when we hung out together and just had fun crapping. now, whenever i see you, i turn away and feel sick. its sad really, i thought our friendship could last.

CGTT JIAYOU (:

2007-01-21T19:13:00.000+08:00

YOUTH GROUP!

I remember just a few weeks back, how i dreaded sundays. why? Because i had to choose to either go for the youth group meeting, or stay at home and feel guilty about not going. Now, things have changed. I look forward to sundays really. Sundays is a time where i can meet denise, bessie and benedicta and just crap our heads off.

The youth group sessions are getting more enjoyable than it was before. Beginning to know more people, by actually talking to them. Gosh, can't wait for the next sunday already!

2007-01-03T17:21:00.000+08:00

FIRST DAY!

So i went to school early today for nothing, we didn't get to choose our seats but sat in our original 2006 positions. It was fun seeing all my classmates again after about 2months. Just chatting and catching up was fun.

My form teacher this year is Mrs Chew! Quite happy about it, she's a wonderfully nice teacher, always so lame and funny. So this is the list of my teachers for 2007:

Form teacher: Mrs Chew
English: Ms Audra [not sure about her marital status. i think shes new]
Chinese: Mr Chan Chee Kiang [followed up from sec3]
Emaths: Mrs Lum [not sure about her marital status as well]
Amaths: Mrs Chew [followed up from sec3]
Chemistry: Ms Begam [i really wanted to get ms sim again!]
Physics: Mr Yau [followed up from sec3]
Biology: Ms Angelina Tan [heard shes a good teacher]
SS/Geog: Mrs Lim Kim Choo [head of level too]
PE: Mr Chan Chee Kiang

The teachers are all good teachers i'm told. But i really want ms sim! So does the whole class, we thought it was almost confirmed that she will teach us again. But she isnt teaching any classes at all this year! Gosh, i guess we have to wait and see.

Welcoming the New Year!

2006-12-31T20:05:00.000+08:00

2006 has been a trying and enjoyable year.
At the beginning of the year, on the first day of school, we were put into our streamed classes where we had to make new friends. I was quite terrified at the thought, im not very good at making new friends. Luckily, i had michelle as my new table partner! It would have been so great if jesiska didnt have to change classes.

I remember noticing cliques in the class on the first day of school. For example, there was the npcc clique, the scholars, and well, others. But it wasnt long till everyone opened up and we became the class that we are! (:

Then came OAC where we had to learn to work as a class, build our team unity, putting our class strength to the test. Im glad to say that we did superb! OAC was fun because i got to know more people better, like Margaret, Samantha, SiLin, Rupini and the whole enthu gang. Although we didnt win anything, it as still an enriching experience!

Changing of leaders came next. Wow, this was a very stressful and confusing period of time. During the whole time, i made new close friends and lost some. Losing friends is a sad thing, but sometimes it just cant be helped. I have to say its fun being the senior at last. Besides the fact that we have to undertake responsibility for the whole team, its fun.
It was also during that time that the wonderful cliqueseven was formed. I love us! (:

And now, the year has finally come to an end, with 2007 approaching in just 4hours. Daunting the next year is, having to sit for the olevels examination and leaving cedar! 3 years in cedar flew past because i had loads of fun. I have to make good use of 2007!

THECLIQUESEVEN.
i love us loads!
one more year as team-mates,
but an eternity as friends!
[[daph.gmary.jes.mich.sher.wanling.zona]] ((:

oh and welcome to the new cgtt sec1s'07. i hope you come to love cedar and cgtt like we do. just remember to WORK HARD and most importantly, HAVE FUN!

2006-12-30T18:10:00.000+08:00

CGTT GATHERING! (:

Okay, so it wasnt much of a success because most of the people that went were the sec2s and sec3s '06. But it was still fun. The bbq would have been a failure if not for michelle! She was the only one out of all of us there, that was able to strike a match and start the fire for the bbq. yay michelle!

Louise on the other hand is the best fan-ner ever. Well, i was just standing at the bbq pit turning and cooking the food while tearing because of the smoke. We all agreed that its a sad bbq since everyone kept tearing. Gosh, lame. Haha.

2006-12-10T16:57:00.000+08:00

FSC
is it the right choice for me, i wonder

Went for the youth group meeting today. Well, i managed to get benedicta to come with me. Amanda couldn't come because of tuition and we informed denise a little too late. She had already left church by the time benedicta smsed her.

Father Gerard forgot my name! But he immediately remembered that he called my house and my dad picked up the phone while i was overseas when i told him my name. And he said he's going to come to my house! [ i had better take the computer and television out of my room]

Anyhow, he didn't stay for the meeting because he had to celebrate mass. Lynn and kathleen conducted the meeting today since they are the leaders and all. The topic was " Hell and Souls ". Quite an insightful topic and sharing we had today, though it was short. The picture of the lady's soul leaving her body when she just died was kind of freaky and scary to me. But i guess we have to learn to accept reality.

It proves that there is life after death. That we all have souls. [ The picture was real by the way. a photographer apparently in the operating theatre, or maybe outside of it, managed to capture that very moment the soul appeared ] Its kind of cool. The lady's soul had the same facial features and all as her body on earth. I had always imagined souls to be, well shapeless.

So that was about it. Today apparently more people came. Like me, benedicta, natalie, louisa, rachel, pattrick, jeremy c. and the rest that came were the usual few namely john, lynn, amanda phua, gareth, madeleine, kriffith and zoa. I think i will be going for next week's meeting too. Benedicta and i are dragging denise and amanda lau to come with us! (:

I think this post is long enough. will blog about my trip another day. I think i would include some pictures. Up to now, i havent uploaded any photos yet. I also havent started doing my homework! I am so dead. Whats more, i don't have my chinese homework and english homework. LOUISE! help! ):

2006-12-09T12:33:00.000+08:00

KANGAROO ISLAND & ADELAIDE ROCKS!

yay. i bought presents for you guys (:
cant wait to see you all!

i hate it when people tag annoying and disgusting tags. its just not welcomed!

2006-11-25T19:37:00.000+08:00

TODAY ROCKED ((:
i had so much fun playing cards and soaking!

Had to wake up early today to go to sentosa! I went to serangoon mrt station at 8am, super punctual. But zona tan was late, not surprised. haha. In the end, when we reach habourfront mrt, everyone was there already. Except shermaine, she was apparently still sleeping. So it was just lilin, wanling, daphne, zona, louise, zhen na, jedidah, cherie, yiwen, stella and vina. and cherie's outfit [not sure what word] was so beach like! haha. totally blue!We took the shuttle bus to sentosa.

Daphne came up with this silly idea of not paying the admission fee by walking by the roadside. haha. Anyhow, we took the blue line to siloso beach where we found this nice shelter thing just beside the lifeguard! zona and i straightaway went into the water [the swim here zone]. oh wait, we walked across the bridge first. we saw this baby looking sword fish! and schools of tiny fish. cute!

So blahblahblah, in the end we got louise and zhen na to soak in the water with zona and i. haha. lilin wanted too, but couldn't because forgot to bring extra clothes. but she became our full-time photographer! haha. daphne and wanling were the chefs of the day.

the food was all delicious! i like the cheese sausage, beehoon, sandwiches, otah and the other snacks! haha. and the jelly was surprisingly nice to eat. my chocolate melted. that was sad. we played uno and poker cards too. i won the game of cheat/bluff! haha. yay (:

now we are all sunburnt but we had a good time. louise had it bad, her whole shoulders was red. i have two super red hands. the worst thing is that it is uneven tan! haha. i have two distinct colours on my hands now okay. so horrid!

oh on the bus ride back to habourfront, i was doing this bimbotic accent mix with the uk accent, daphne and wanling seemed amused. haha. and cherie was so obsessed about trying to be an ah lian like " iiee lurbe euus" and "hellox" and " wadevazz" and " hElLo". you know, those disgusting things. haha. it was hilarious!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS! ((:

-freaking annoyed

TAG REPLIES!

amanda: sorry, haha very lazy! ):

stel: confirmation ah. its well, a ritual whereby you confirm your faith in Christ!

zona': haha yah! it was so freaking fun. yay. ((:

wanKLING-: yay! i like loads and loads of testimonials. haha. of course i was jealous. haha. such a fun hobby. yes, hanis got good taste! ((:

samantha: haha, yeah. feeling better now. yay! KPO! (:

zona': ahh baby is like so super cute okay. but jelly was nice! haha.

wanKLING-: haha okay okay, you never slack. today you were a great cheffy. haha. yay!!

stel: haha no problem and thanks! (:

2006-11-24T19:41:00.000+08:00

CARROT AND JELLY.
- thats basically what we managed to do at zona's house.

So there was training today. Louise showed me the proposal which she typed out the day before. It is so freaking neat and nice! I love the december timetable, looks so professionally done. Today alot of people came for training! Which is good i suppose, but it would have been better if some came other days instead. So everyone would get a table to train.

IM IN THE CHRISTMAS MOOD ALREADY.
i cant wait! (:

After training, wanling daphne zona and i went to serangoon central where we ate macdonalds. No choice because serangoon central is kind of pathetic. Full of coffeeshops though. Not much fastfood outlets. We all ate filet o fish! yum.

Then we went to shop&save i think, to buy all that we needed to cook! We spent like super long there because we didnt know what to buy or what we were going to prepare. Daphne took the sharks fin and said she wanted to cook the soup. daphne is so lame! (:

So we walked round, and decided to fry beehoon! Zona and daphne also wanted to make jelly. In the end, we chose the lychee and apple flavour. I hope its nice. We then went to get canned fruits to put in the jelly. daphne insisted on the longan one, but zona and wanling wanted the mixed fruits one. Well, majority won this time.

Oh and we definitely didnt forget the chips! after that, we set off for zona's house! zona almost fell asleep on the bus ride to her house that when she realise the next stop was the stop which we were suppose to alight, she was like super franctic! haha. So funny.

BABY SO CUTE!
daphne's favourite smally. haha (:

the baby like daphne alot, listen to what daphne ask him to do okay. haha. she told the baby to shake hands, he shook hands. she told him to hi5, he hi5. she told him to hug her, he did! haha. He is super super cute. Daphne and i went crazy over baby! haha. But wanling was not because baby threw football at her. haha!

In the end, daphne say her mum can cook for us beehoon, so we didnt have too. But we decided to help her pluck the beansprouts [baby helped us!] and cut the carrot. That wanling and zona slack okay. haha. never cut carrots. TSK. but im proud to say that daphne and i did a superb job. (: oh but wanling and zona did the jelly. good girls!

we decided to play monopoly and cards after that. but my parents came soon after. )):

LETS HOPE TMR WORKS OUT ((:

2006-11-23T16:36:00.000+08:00

HATRED IS BLIND, AND ANGER DEAF
i dont know if thats really true but all i know is that it sucks being angry. spoils everything.

I feel like well, being the bigger person. You know, give in to all the requests and whims. Apologise if people say i'm in the wrong [ even IF i maybe right ] because this is very tiring. This stupid fights and arguements will get us nowhere.

So if you all say that well, we didn't take initiative to help plan the chalet, then i apologise. We should have taken the initiative and asked if you guys needed help and we didn't. so yes, i'm sorry. and i'm not sacarstic, so don't worry.

I'm just glad that i have my dearest friends here with me. We will support each other the whole way. MY DARLINGS ZONA WANLING JESISKA SHERMAINE DAPHNE LOUISE, LOVES ((:

missing you! (:

2006-11-21T21:16:00.000+08:00

GET WELL SOON LOUISE! aka supernoisylouise ((:
i survived training, thankfully.

I still havent started on the proposal on tutoring the sec3s 07 amaths! What is worse is that i wasnt given a dateline. I would much prefer having a date so i can well, put it as top priority. Hmm, im not even sure what i have to include in the proposal. HA, pathetic.

Gosh, desperate housewives is a very rubbish show. So dramatic. One tree hill is so much better! Tsk, there are so few good shows left nowadays. I'm always rotting at home doing well, channel surfing because i don't want to start on my homework yet. I was motivated to start doing it, but the motivation died when we went to louise house. Had too much fun. HAHA.

Oh and i've decided to be well, neutral in everything. You know, not take sides and all. Saves me alot of troubles and problems. But, easier said than done. BAH.

I CANT WAIT FOR SATURDAY ((:

2006-11-17T20:22:00.000+08:00

TODAY WAS FREAKING FUN ((:
-artistically designed invitations

My extra lessons today was cancelled. It was supposed to be 3 hours of physics! Lucky me. Anyhow, so i went to training with louise since her lessons were also cancelled. Training was well, fun i guess. Louise and i trained with daphne for one hour [ after that she had extra lessons ] and then we trained with melissa and joanne. Freaking crappy people.

After training was the best part! Zona, louise, shermaine and i went to louise's house to well, design some invitations. [sssh, its a secret]. But before that, we spent alot of time in heartland mall buying our food and drinks.

So anyway, we did make it to louise's house. Thank goodness for that. We started designing. Actually, shermaine started designing. Everyone knows how artistic she is although we seldom admit it. haha.

I was mostly slacking, didn't want to destroy any invitations. I know that i do not have the flair for arts. I willingly admit that. haha. So we were playing my ipod at the max so that everyone could hear through the headphones.

And guess what? shermaine started to sing! haha. and somehow, she couldn't really get the tune right for most of the songs. haha. The funniest was The Power of Your Love because it went so high! haha. ((:

Anyhow, now zonaa and i have decided to call shermaine, "shermaine loo" and louise, " lou-ise". haha. Sounds quite nice. We also created this funny little nicknames for ourselves.

zona : notnicezona
louise: supernoisylouise
shermaine : actcoolloo
gmary: actsmartmary

YAY. I HAD LOADS OF FUN TODAY!
LOVES ((:

2006-11-13T20:50:00.000+08:00

RAINING!
the cool weather ((:

Today was well, boring. Had amaths lesson for an hour. Was practically stoning the whole entire time. Later was biology practicals. Quite difficult since i forgot almost everything i've learnt. I think i should go read up my notes to refresh my memory once in awhile.

holidays are BORING. and no one can save me from this boredom. well, "the count of monte cristo" is doing a good job of keeping me occupied for a few hours a day. The book is really very interesting! Except that there is too much description. I usually skip the descriptive parts of the book. No wonder my english isn't improving! Tsk.

I think my handphone bill is so going to explode this month. AHHH. saddening.

Should i go for the youth group meeting next week? I'm really not sure right now. Sighs. The more i think about it, the more frustrated i get. So maybe i should just leave it all up to God. Wait, thats what i should have done from the start! Ah, stupid me.

samantha! dont kpo read this.
hehe

2006-11-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

FRATES et SORORES in CHRISTO
- latin for "brothers and sisters in Christ"

We have been told that this is going to be the name of the new youth group. Note that word TOLD. It frustrates me really, and raises doubts whether i should join the youth group at all. Its not really my style, my culture. In my mind, i had actually already imagine the first few weeks or even months of meetings used to think of a suitable name for the youth group. i mean like we pray about it, discuss, throw out suggestions etc. It would be a fun experience.

But no, a few people thought of this name and said okay, this shall be the name of the new youth group. They could at least discuss with everyone and not TELL us the name when they confirmed it already. Its just not right, is it? But yeah, what thomas said is right. The coming up of the name isn't really important.

Then they suggested making the youth group more sports inclined? like craps! i hate sports. and because of that, i am more likely to forgo this chance of being in a youth group. is it really..well, worth it? Hmm. Oh wells, at least i have already made up my mind to join the youth catechist. I was just considering if i should also join the youth group. Because both ministries bring about different experiences. I don't want to not experience them!

ARGH. this is just so confusing. )):

CONGRATS SAMANTHA ON YOUR CONFIRMATION!! ((:

we started off as friends.
how about now?

2006-11-09T19:29:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is going to be so horrid. One hour of biology practical. Gosh, i'm actually beginning to feel scared about going to school tomorrow. I can just picture mr lim scolding us for doing something wrongly. AHH. mr lim is super scary in the lab. ):

Anyhow, today's 2 hours of physics lesson passed by quite quickly. Of course, mr yau was telling us so many lame and crappy stories. I liked the ones about the resident lizard in his car and the seahorse. haha. super cute.

Oh no! I just remembered that we have 2 hours of chemistry tomorrow too. Just kill me now. Chemistry is fun to do, but the lessons are always so boring. No matter who the teacher is, the chemistry teachers are already trying to do the best they can. But come on, its obvious chemistry is quite a dry subject unless doing practicals!

-i dont know what is this that i'm feeling
but i know that i'm missing you ):

2006-11-08T21:15:00.000+08:00

HOLIDAYS are so boring!

Packed with homework, training and extra lessons. What kind of holiday is that? I'm so looking forward to my trip to australia! (:
I realised that my blog is so boring and content-less. Maybe i shall try browsing around for a new blogskin, when i feel like it that is.

Tomorrow there is 2 hours of physics lessons! I hope mr yau tells stories again if not 2 hours of the same subject is going to be super dry. My handwriting is becoming so illegible. I blame it on the fact that i havent touched a pen for so long.
Samantha's confirmation is this coming saturday and deborah's confirmation is next week. So cool. I hope i can make it for both confirmations (: I'm going to drag yunmin along.

I just realised something quite upsetting. My good friend supposedly, always never lasts for more than like 2 years. I remember in primary one and two oh and three, it was xiying and dorlisa. But we changed classes in primary four, so i didnt keep in contact with them.
Primary four was kind of a floating year for me, didnt really have any good friends. More like a bunch of friends i hang out with. primary five and six it was tai yi and li ying.

I managed to keep in contact with tai yi when i was sec one and two, but stopped this year. I guess we are busy with our own stuff. Li ying i didnt even keep in contact with her.
Then in sec one and two, it was jesiska and christabel. Stopped keeping in contact with christabel this year, except recently. I still keep in contact with jesiska because same cca.
I thank God for that ((: Wonder what i would do with tandy tandy! haha.

Now sec three, i'm not really sure who are my good friends. So i don't really confide in anyone. But samantha, yunmin and eileen rocks! haha.
But i'm glad about one thing. I have this group of wonderful friends who i have counted out throughout my 3 years in cedar. Though we have gone through hell at times, we still come out as good friends! They are none other then Jesiska, Zona, Wanling and Shermaine. LOVES! ((:

I THANK MY LUCKY STARS THAT THEY ARE MY DARLING CCA-MATES.
LOVE THEM LOADS ((:

I'm actually proud of the fact that although some of us are in school team, some are not, some are exco, the others are not, we are still good friends. That didnt seperate us and its such a cool achievement.
I must mention that denise wee, benedicta and amanda lau rocks. I look forward to going to church because of you girls. loves!

LALALA.

2006-11-06T11:11:00.000+08:00

CONFIRMATION of my faith (:

Catechism classes is coming to an end quite soon. Its weird how i have always looked forward to the day of my confirmation, so that i won't have to go for catechism anymore! But my mindset changed during the confirmation camp this year. Confirmation is more then "celebrating the end of catechism", its a lifetime promise.

Oh and my godma flew back from Shanghai [ works there ] for my confirmation! I miss her so much since i last saw her in january. During the mass, i sat beside zachary and to his right was marlie. Gosh, the two of them are so comical. Darth Vader? Darth Vader sneezing due to the incense? haha. It was fun.

I think i am going to miss having catechism. Miss spending time chatting with amanda lau, denise wee, benedicta, elena... I know that denise and benedicta are joining the youth catechists too, but for secondary level. I'm joining with my brother but for primary school level so that it doesnt clash with his youth group meeting.

I THINK ITS GOING TO BE A BLAST ((:

Dreams and Teams

2006-10-25T18:39:00.000+08:00

I MISS JEDSADA!!
I MISS ATTHAWIT!!
I MISS CHARLOTTE!!
I MISS LUCY!!
I MISS ELOUISE!!
I MISS MEME!!

I can't believe the foreign delegates have all gone back to their own country. Time flew past so quickly when we were having fun. It isn't fair that we only got to spend a couple of days with them. They are all such freaking nice people! I will miss them loads!

FOREIGN DELEGATES!
-i will miss you guys dearly (:

I also made a couple of new friends from cedar itself. Its wonderful how an event like this widens my social circle so easily. I know more sec1s, sec2s and even sec3s now!

DEDICATIONS!

yiying: i'm glad thilanga ask me to help out in this housing thing because i havent exactly talked to you in such a long while and this gives us the ample time to talk and catch up with one another. i'm very happy that we were back to the kind of friends we were before term3 where we crap about almost anything under the sun and suaning one another. i dont think i would have enjoyed dreams and teams as much if you werent there! oh and i think i actually got to know you better than i did before since you, thilanga, sakunika and i went out with our buddies together quite often. it was a blast! Especially the sleepover at your house. Both of us were so scared to watch the exorcism of emily rose, hence changing the show to a thai show. haha. so hilarious. well, i just wanted to say that you've been a super good friend and i treasure your friendship and i hope you do too (: LOVES!!

thilanga: you were the one that first asked me to house a foreign delegate. well, i'm very glad that you called me because thanks to that move of yours, i had a ball of a time for the past few days. I wasn't exactly close to you before dreams and teams, and now i think i've gotten to know you so much better! hooray to dreams and teams. i thoroughly enjoyed myself at the night safari and sentosa! oh and you can be one scary girl if you're angry or frustrated which is good. The juniors respect you because of that. And i bet also because you are a pro trumpet player. haha. anyhow, i'll like to just thank you once again girl. you rock loads. (: LOVES!!

sakunika: miss drama queen. haha. i cant believe you are so ultra slow! took so long to realise who i was when we were talking for so long. its fascinating! Oh and you got so freaking high for your end year geography paper, so disgusting. i had loads of fun hanging out with you and your buddies at the night safari, sentosa and shopping at bugis street. it was so fun especially when we went from shop to shop looking for soft toys! haha. you made dreams and teams ever so much more fun girl. (: LOVES!!

amanda: world peace! haha. this is your catch phrase isnt it. i remember during the discussion on thursday you were so quiet. must be acting only. haha. i think you and your buddy so cute together, keep holding hands when you walk. and girl, you are so not humble! haha. i'm humble, you are egoistic. remember that okay? dont get it wrong again. haha. and i think you would make a good ms mermaid. haha. eh i will reply your letter through either email or next year then continue k? in the meantime, can sms! (: LOVES!!

queenie: the queen of all, i like the way you can count by doing this 360 degree turn. whats even better is that you spin so fast, that i dont think you could even see anyone when you were spinning. haha. and you also cannot stop talking one right. haha. from morning till night also chit chattering, which is good in a way. but dont contribute to noise pollution! its so good for the ears. haha. okay, anyway, take care! (: LOVES!!

foreign delegates: hey guys. you have been a wonderful bunch of guests and we will definitely miss you all loads. So dont ever forget this small teeny weeny country of singapore and cedar girls secondary school! haha. especially jedsada, atthawit, meme, lucy, elouise and charlotte, dont forget me! (: LOVES!!

-trying to hold back the tears ):

2006-10-17T20:02:00.000+08:00

MIXED NUTS! Quite nice to eat actually.
THANKS MS CHNG! (:

So my results are not exactly disheartening but not that good as well.
English : A2 - i was pretty shocked
Chinese : B3 - why am i not surprised
E maths : B3 - i actually am quite happy with it
A maths : B3 - disappointed, so many careless mistakes
Chemistry: A1 - up to own expectations
Physics: A1 - up to own expectations
Biology: A1 - a wonderful surprise
ss/geog: A2 - quite happy since its only humanities

L1R5 [not inclusive of addition of CA1, SA1 and CA2 marks] : 10
Improved by one point since midyear, but i'm sure i could have done better! I guess i'll have to work harder next year. Actually, i mean this year. (:

Mr chai came into class during the second last period. He told us that our class did super well for the end year exams coming either 1st or 2nd for almost all the subjects we take except for english and ss/geog. Not that surprising that we didn't do well in those two subjects, we are suppose to be better at science! haha. Then he told us that he is going to let us watch this charlie chaplin show. We were all quite disappointed when we heard charlie chaplin since its like a show from ancient history! But it turned out to be entertaining and amusing! haha. I couldnt stop laughing. I think halfway through margaret fell asleep. haha.

He also gave us this belgian chocolate. What's best is that he said he is giving us more stuff tomorrow! I wonder what he will give. haha. Then we had to stop watching the show because ms sim came in to teach on metals. But firstly, she told us the fantastic news that 3P got 1st in the whole level for chemistry! WHEE.

Today was the first training of the term and for a long time actually! We had to meet the sec2s to discuss about the end year camp. I think they are actually quite poor things since we only managed to brief them after examinations. Training itself was okay. Got to see all my cgtt peers and juniors again. Zona was busy going around asking for her bday present. Isn't she just so thick skinned? haha ((:

Jesiska didnt come training again. I wonder how the dreams and team thing went today, i didn't even stop by awhile. Was at training the whole time (: haha.

I've packed my room and its just so super neat!! hooray to me! haha.

TAG REPLIES!

jesiska: name me a person who likes EYE! haha. ((:

wanKLING-: eh what rubbish. haha. bowling was fun, agree? agreed. haha. ((:

stel: it was okay i guess. good that you love Him. Keep the fire burning yah? Never let it die.

JamJosh: i'm too lazy to link. haha. will link you soon!

stel: that you have to ask a science teacher. when you find out, tell me okay? haha.

'na: through retards? sorry, who are you anyway? haha. oops. sorry.

jfur: correct. haha i wanna restrict who you talk too! haha. (:

2006-10-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

STATIC!
gosh, that zona has been giving me so much static today. Everytime our arms touch, its like whoosh, electricity and eventually a heart attack. Reason? Both of us keep dragging our feet when we walk. I think zona loves static, just not ready to admit it. (:

I shall update more another day. lalala.

2006-10-10T16:25:00.000+08:00

i finally bought my confirmation dress. since its sleeveless, i had to get a jacket as well, those short kind. I don't really like that kind, but this particular one aint that bad. (:

i can't wait for confirmation!!

jfurr: yes! if we can find the time. i know my darling daughter very busy with her prefects stuff and npcc stuff! so pro ((: proud of you girl!

wanKling: no problem. lets go to the zoo!!

jason: yah! youth catechist. im ever so wise. haha

2006-10-07T19:35:00.000+08:00

FINALLY! the dreaded end year examinations are over. ((:

The past week or so have been a great one, except the fact that there were exams of course. Anyhow, i'm glad that exams are over and all i can do is wait till the results are out. Meanwhile, i can sleep for one whole week since there's no school! Maybe except wednesday, going out to celebrate na tan's birthday! belated birthday i mean.

I owe so many people their birthday presents - starting from the month of september. Gosh, i am going to be so broke by the end of the week. Oh, i have to buy my confirmation clothes too! So fun.

I decided that maybe i dont want to join the youth group anymore. I mean, the way Father tells us about it, seems so complicated. I comtemplating being a youth catechist instead. You know, for those small kids! They may be a handful, but i'm sure its fun. (:

Anyhow,
JIAYOU na tan, ling liauw and ka tan! [ zona, wanling and jesiska]
ONE MORE PAPER!
YOU CAN DO IT! ((:

2006-09-15T21:04:00.000+08:00

GOSH. i'm planning to do something i thought i would never do.
wish me luck!

Anyhow, this week has been horrendous. Go to school, come back home, study. 3 more weeks of this same nonsensical torture before i can finally relax. I seriously can't wait for post exam activities to begin. ((:

2006-09-09T19:53:00.000+08:00

GOSH. )):

Father Gerard was right. During the confirmation camp, we were all so sheltered, so protected from daily life, from all the temptations. Therefore making it easier for us to put God first, to try and live as He wants us too. But now, we are back into the society. It is so tough to live as God wants us too, its so tiring.

I've felt a sense of peace ever since the camp. I still remember smiling to myself for so many days! haha. I feel so in love with God ((:

Tomorrow is the Youth and community mass. Natalie is so excited! haha. I'm looking forward to it too, plus the praise and worship session after mass. Its going to be so cool.

SHOOT!
natalie just reminded me that i havent started on my chinese homework yet.
i shall rush through last minute homework tomorrow.
help!

oh yeah, it has been quite a sad day yesterday. My great grandmother passed away on thursday. She was 84 years old. Somehow, i don't feel all that sad because deep in my heart, i know that God wants to take her up to Him. Why should we feel sad when she has just been welcomed into God's eternal kingdom?

Isaiah 43 - Hillsong

verse one:
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you
And the waves,
will not overcome you

chorus:
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name,
you are Mine

For I am the Lord your God [guys]
- [girls echo] I am the Lord your God
I am the Lord your God [guys]
- [girls] I am
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior [together]

I am the Lord [guys]
Do not fear [girls]
I am the Lord [guys]
Do not fear [girls]
I am the Lord [guys]
Do not fear [girls]
I am the Lord [guys]
Do not fear [girls]
I am the Lord [guys]
Do not fear [girls]

verse two:
When you pass through the fire,
you'll not be hurt
And the flames
will not consume you

[chorus]

This song just absolutely rocks!

2006-09-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

" Do you love me? " John 21:17

What can i say? I left the camp with the most wonderful feeling in me. I felt so at peace with everyone, so joyous and warm. PRAISE GOD ((:

My group members this time around was:
Zoa
Noelle
Stephanie
Lesley
John
Collin
Thomas

They are all nice people, but all of us are definitely not those very open during sharing kind of people, hence sharing can become pretty quiet at times.

My group facilitators were:
Evelyn
Eunice
Jason
Freeman

Evelyn is like this super wise facilitator. When she shares about anything, it is usually very in-depth, very knowledgable kind of things.

Eunice is very comical and blur. She is always so cheerful and perky even in the morning! Gosh, i wish i had her energy. And she somehow always get my name wrong, even during touch time!! haha

Jason is, well, wise in a sense too. But he can be so super lame at times. I mean blessing us with the water from evelyn's bottle with eunice as the choir? haha. come on!

Freeman is pretty quiet i should say, i mean on the facilitator kind of level. But once he speaks, he is very wise.

My catechist in charge was johnathan who is this bible-pro person. I bet he can memorise every single word in the bible already.haha.

DAY ONE!

All i can remember about on day one is firstly if im not wrong, the talk by Sister Gerard. I found out that Sister Gerard was my brother's primary 3 and 4 catechist. Gosh, what a small world. The story she told us, about Van who was hanged last december for trying to smuggle drugs into Singapore, was beautiful.

I mean, the media is so wrong. They did not have this one and one conversation with Van like Sister Gerard did. To Sister Gerard, he isn't those kind of people who would do anything to earn money like smuggling in drugs, but a good brother.

He had to go to cambodia to help pay the debt his twin brother, Kaur, owed. In cambodia, it is almost definite that you must bring back some drugs before they allow you to leave their country. And so of course, Van was in the same situation.

He taped the drugs around his chest so tightly under his coat, that he almost couldnt breathe. At the airport, an officer just merely tapped him on the shoulder but he couldnt contain the guilt anymore so he told the officer that he was carrying drugs. So, he got sent to prison on a death penalty, to be hanged.

A few months later, Sister Gerard got to meet him and found out what a wonderful loving person Van is. Van asked to be baptised and was baptised in his cell. Sister Gerard was present at the ceremony. He never blamed his brother nor God for the situation that he was in, instead he praised God because he knew how much God loved him.

On the day when he was to be hanged, his cell mates all sang Amazing Grace for him, his favourite song, in many different languages. He went to each and every cell and said encouraging words to them like " you must remember to eat your food ah" or " you should go exercise when allowed too to stay healthy". He didn't mourn for his own fate, but instead, he comforted those around him.

Isn't it such a beautiful story? He is such a wonderful person. I cut short the story mostly because i cannot really remember it in detail. This story touched me alot.

The next thing that i could remember was the night games on day one. The games were okay i guess. But i thought that the game in which we were blindfolded was so lame. This person came up behind zoa and i laughing evily [or at least he tried too] and i was like exclaiming " ohmygosh, so retarded" oops, i hope i didn't hurt his feelings! haha.

I still remember the passing the polo sweets game. My group dropped so many that there wasn't anymore polo sweets! haha. And the banana game was so gross. John is such a hero. I like the snakes and ladders game. it so was funny! haha

The dirty water game was the worst! My hand was burning hot after i dipped my hand into the pail of whoknowswhat to take out the marble. I found out from James that they added listerine inside. And alot of other stuff, i didn't actually want to find out.

DAY TWO!

Lets see what i can remember. Oh there was a talk by Father Bill Heng and he drew this quadratic graph.I think its a good way of actually explaining a person's life in connection with God. After that he celebrated mass, and he told us not to stand so that he can see all of us. haha.

Then there was sharing sessions again. The session was kind of fun because eunice and jason couldnt stop teasing and bullying one another. Whats more, eunice was so blur it was so super comical! haha.

If im not wrong there was quite a number of praise and worship sessions too. I'm got hooked onto the songs " Little by Little", " Isaiah 43", " I will run to you" and alot more songs too. I just cant remember the titles.

Then we had confession. I also dreaded going for confession, you know, being scared that i will be judged by people because of my sins. But that day after i confessed my sins, i felt clean and pure. And i wanted to praise God with all my heart!

And the most enriching and wonderful event that took place was the praying over session where most of us confirmants, all actually, felt and experienced the Holy Spirit.

First the charismatic people started off by singing some praises to God. And then there was some prayers followed by songs to invoke the presence of the Holy Spirit in the session room. Then we, the confirmants were told to close our eyes and sing the final song "Come Holy Spirit" and open our eyes when told to do so.

And halfway through the song, all the charismatic people starting singing and speaking in tongues. I can't really describe but it was beautiful. The most beautifully articulated language i have ever heard. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but it still sounded so good and beautiful.

Once the pray over session was over, people came up to give testimonies of what had happened, what they felt. And of all times, Eunice could remember my name when it comes to sabotaging. haha. thanks eunice. haha.

We all felt so spiritually high that day. It was a great day! PRAISE THE LORD OUR GOD! ((:

DAY THREE!

The last day of the camp. We had praise and worship in the morning. Followed by cleaning up of rooms and toilets. After that we were given letters to read which were written by our parents. When i got mine, i opened the envelope and guess what? My mum put the letters into a card, which was then inserted into a clear plastic file. haha.

So i had to remove the stickers which took a long time, before i could open the card. And i was expecting 2 letters like everyone else. You know, one from each parents. But then i saw 3 letters. I thought, okay so my brother wrote to me too. Then surprise surprise i had 4 letters! haha. The last letter was from my Godma who is presently in Shanghai.

I was so happy you know, that she actually emailed what she wanted to tell me to my parents to pass to me. And i heard after sending the first copy, she sent over a revised copy! haha. so funny.

Anyways, all of us were sniffing and tearing after reading the letters given to us. I replied all 4 of them which i think i did quite fast already. I folded the A4 paper into quarters and each quarter was to each person. haha. I tried to write as big as i could so that my parents could read with ease. Apparently, the effort was fruitless. haha.

After that, we had 4 youths coming from the 4 different youth groups, Mustard Seed Community, Youth Vineyard, Leaven of God and Cornerstone to share their experiences after confirmation. It was cool. Then Father Gerard gave us another talk. haha.

After that we had the washing of feet where the cathechist would wash the confirmants feets. This was to make real the event that took place 2000 years ago as mentioned in the bible where Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. I guess the main reason behind doing this was to show that in order to be the one at a higher position, higher authority, we must reach down to those below us. Or something like that. haha

Then we had the family mass! Our parents were given our replies to the letter and my parents couldn't read my letter then because my handwriting was according to them, too minute. haha. Anyhow, we ended off singing " Trading my sorrows" and "DipDip!" Fun, fun.

After that my group went to take some pictures. Its sad that Jason is leaving Singapore for 3 years to further his studies in geology. But its cool that he decided to spend his last weekend in Singapore at the camp, facilitating us! Its touching really.

Wish him all the best in his studies and quickly return to Singapore! The next 3 batches will miss the chance of having him as their wonderful camp facilitator! He shouldn't deprive them of this chance. haha. BYEBYE JASON! ):

We also got back our warm fuzzies! yayness. I love warm fuzzies. haha. ((:

The facilitators and participants in my group made the camp so much more worthwhile!!

2006-08-31T22:32:00.000+08:00

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY! (:

Today was quite a fun day i should say, not to mention maluating since i got suaned by samantha, yunmin and louise so many times. I decided to let them off today, but they are so dead when school reopens next term. haha. It rained so heavily this morning. Luckily my mum drove me to school, if not i would be soaking wet like so many others! haha. I thank my lucky stars. haha.

oh, abit slow here but,

CONGRATS TO YUSIN AND JENNIFER!! ((:
- we are so proud of the both of you

so yes, back to teachers' day. I feel so bad because i made melissa, her classmate, rongqi, louise and zona walk so many rounds this morning. haha. but its good exercise anyhow! i finally realised why the sec2s i asked all describe the pillow they sewed for mr yau is square or rectangle. I mean, it looks like square from afar, but rectangle close up. Oh wells, its a four sided figure! (:

I could go on and on about how many rounds i made them walk, but i shall cut it short and go straight to the concert part. mr chai was so hilarious! he can act pretty well. I like the part when his moustache dropped. Yunmin and i couldnt control our laughter! we kept rocking back and forth laughing. haha. so comical. ms chin was so cute!

I just realised theres nothing much to say! haha. oh i fell in love with another song, which is

Baby, one more time
-by Marty Casey

His is the rock version of the song. More depressing, not so candy-ish like britney spears. Really very addictive! (:

TAG REPLIES!

cherie: goodness hello panda. you are so slow! haha. expected it anyhow. haha.

wanKLING-: yay! you finally accepted your true name. haha. good so happy for you!my dogs very cute lor. haha. and yes, we are efficient people. hooray to us! i LOVE my ouxiang! ((:

stel: no lah, im using my mother's computer to blog. and dont say that lah, everyone that came did something to contribute to the overall products!

zona': haha. my dogs no money! cannot sue cannot sue, wait i go broke. somemore got to hire doggie lawyer for them. haha. ((:

wanKLING-: eheh! you sue me, the BEAR, who is your pet. then pets got no money wan! so got to take from the owner, who is you. haha. so you pay yourself. haaha! ((:

daughter: haha. my darling daughter wont do badly for tests wan! you are too smart! haha. i'm so proud of you daughter! hugs! ((:

2006-08-27T09:38:00.000+08:00

SOUVENIRS TEAM! ((:
- good job you guys, we were very efficient!

I'm so disappointed at the number of mistakes i made for both physics and chemistry tests. I'm just hoping to pass, yes, its as bad as that. The two tests were freaking simple, but the number of careless mistakes i made is practically uncountable. Whats worse is that physics and chemistry are my two best subjects, and here i am about to fail both. I'm disappointed in myself.

SLEEPY )):

Let me backtrack a little. Yesterday the souvenirs team came to my house to do the souvenirs for this year's open house! The team consisted of sec3s: wanling, zona, louise and i, sec2s: cherie, yiwen and jedidah, and sec1s: joy, jane, jieshi, stella and huiling. I made all of them exercise yesterday walking around serangoon central looking for ice cream sticks! haha. sorry guys!

Anyway, it was completed very quickly and after that we just slacked a little. We kept a few of the souvenirs done by us for us as a momento! haha. It was fun. Louise helped me make a sandwich thing. haha. So cute. We also took some snapshots here and there. ((:

I'm so upset that my church camp and the open house are both on the 2nd of september! I really want to go for the open house. And my shift is 7am to maybe 10.30am, so i can still rush for church camp. Anyhow, i've told the catechist already but that natalie backed out! ah! so sad, i'll be so lonely.

COMPLETED BANYUEJI [took up so much of my time]

I finally got my mum to buy for me The Veronicas cd. Their songs are so addictive, so upbeat! Trust me, they are good. 4ever and When it all falls apart are my favourites, but one song is especially interesting!

SECRET by The Veronicas

You're a little obsessed with me
And I'm a little bit scared of you
The way you look and stare at me
Maybe it's time I let you know

You could call me six times but still I won't pick up the phone
You could spend all your money on me but still I'll say no
You could write a million letters everyday confessing to me
That I am the girl of your dreams
But nobody ever asked me
I never looked at you that way
'Cause I always thought you were gay

Every time you come around
You just look me up and down
And then you try to hold my hand
I'm confused now I don't understand

You could call me six times but still I won't pick up the phone
You could spend all your money on me but still I'll say no
You could write a million letters everyday confessing to me
That I am the girl of your dreams
But nobody ever asked me
I never looked at you that way
'Cause I always thought you were gay

You told me lies
You made me believe
It would be fine
If there was nothing to see
I'd be undressing in front of you
I told you secrets that no one else knew

You could call me six times but still I won't pick up the phone
You could spend all your money on me but still I'll say no
You could write a million letters everyday confessing to me
That I am the girl of your dreams
But nobody ever asked me
I never looked at you that way
'Cause I always thought you were gay

Dont you think the lyrics are so cute? always thought you were gay, haha. When i first heard the song, in the car on the way home, i thought perhaps i heard wrongly. But then my brother started laughing, so i laughed too. haha. cute cute!

TOURISM test, shucks.

2006-08-16T19:35:00.000+08:00

Deliriously happy! (:
- i cant believe that i actually survived this week!

Gosh, backtrack a little. I remember being so lethargic during tuesday's training! I'm so sorry louise for being half-dead when you were trying to teach my social studies. (: Louise rocks really, she helped me memorise the facts on industralisation from the 1960s to the late 1970s. Then we kept practicing the reflections script and we just couldn't focus! haha.

FINALLY REPLIED JESISKA'S LETTER ((:
- you should feel honoured!

Oh, and guess what? The CI project was handed up on time, which is surprisingly really. I'm feeling this sharp pain in my left arm, so horrid. Anyhow, today shall be the only day which i will slack from now on for another 2 tests is coming my way next week. I cant believe they are testing us on all the chapters for physics. Im scared of the chemistry test though, i haven't been paying attention since ms sim completed the chapter on mole concept. haha. i so need to mug!

I love to write argumentative essays. Okay, not really. I just like to write the introductory paragraph where i would think of scenarios which links to the topic. But, i doubt i will ever choose argumentative essay during exams because lots of planning is needed and i always go out of point. haha. The recent essay which i just wrote for the free-writing assignment was one of my best ever! Im talking about the language command here, my points were entirely out. haha.

Goodness, i smsed 1246 messages last month! Which has actually crossed the 1000 free smses that i get per month. But look on the bright side, its already about 300 smses less than the amount of smses i sent in June! haha

SLEEPY.

Im currenly into the song
Good day - The click five
- I just heard it while playing some random songs on my itunes

TAG REPLIES!

vEEna and jieshi: oi, what rubbish. come to my blog to discuss about your nicknames! tsk tsk. haha

yusin: haha! thanks! i would wish you luck too, but the tests are over now! anyhow, good luck for next week's tests! jiayou! (:

2006-08-13T15:59:00.000+08:00

BABY JULIAN! ((:
- zona's cute little baby cousin

I shall update because my ouxiang wanling asked me too even though i got 3 tests this coming week! See ouxiang? I'm so nice to you. (:

National day celebration in school. What can i say? It was enjoyable! The marching contingents were so synchronised and coordinated. It was really a marvellous sight. I saw Suria and Silin marching! Where did Samantha, Margaret and Jennifer go too?! So sad, i didn't see my 3 darling children marching. ):

Anyhow, eileen and i were trying to be as enthusiastic as possible during the mass dance. While for the indoor community singing, we didnt even have to try because being high came naturally!
We were all so high. Jesiska and nicole sat infront of me in the hall, and they were both so cute! haha ((:

I LOVE 3Passion'06!!
- our first national day celebration together as a class was memorable

Oh! Zhen na and i saw this woman who took off her top in public at cineleisure! We were suppose to distract wanling, so we brought her to the railing. Since she was on the phone, zhen na and i looked down. And our eyes happened to chance upon this woman! I appluade her for being so brave, but isn't it abit stinging to other people's eyes? Except for those old uncles of course. Anyhow, we both started screaming and laughing as we quickly turned away. Then awhile later we thought that she must have put on a top already, so we innocently turned back around and she was still topless! [she has a sb on, don't worry] Zhen na and i will be scarred for life! haha!

I've got so many people obsessed with the song
Only Love - Trademark
Its a sweet song!

I've finally cleaned up my room and it looks so much neater now. I'm so proud of myself. haha.

TAG REPLIES!

zona': haha, yesyes. your blog is better than mine. haha. ((:

wanling-: no no! now you're not calling wankeling already. haha. zona and i made a new nickname for you remember? you are now officially called wan-KLING! haha. i know you like it ((:

jieshi: haha thats why. no loyalty in the first place, so hurtful okay! haha.

jieshi: eh calling you a shy girl is better than calling you an ego girl okay, be glad. its a compliment.

jesiska: it would have been more enjoyable if you went! )):

wanling-: i love you wan-KLING! haha. the message you dedicated is so sweet! i love my ouxiang loads ((:

stel: haha. i see that only jieshi doesnt have a nickname. anyhow, thanks i think. haha

vEEna: yesyes, i get the point. haha. oh no, the world war 3 has started in my very own tagboard! haha.

jieshi, jiayan: goodness! dont have this war in my tagboard. I like peace, no to violence! haha. world peace! haha.

jieshi: murder scene? i agree with you totally. haha

vEEna: what was the yah for? haha

stel, vEEna: oh my. i really dont want a world war 3 to start in my tagboard, i'll be the first to die if that happens. and you guys wouldnt want that to happen now do you? haha

wanling-: updated! ((:

jiayan*~: hoi jiayan! i declare a ceasefire now ah. no more fighting! world peace! haha

jieshi: what kind of name is furty? haha.

jess: okay! will link you soon! (:

2006-08-07T20:39:00.000+08:00

Goodness! i can't wait for tomorrow's national day celebration in school. (:

redwhite redwhite

English could be perhaps the most interesting and entertaining lesson today. We had to draw lots to see which group would be debating today, lo and behold my group got it. Our opposing team was chaili's team! Rupini, Thilanga, Samantha and i obviously weren't mentally prepared for it, oh and we didn't have any points at all!

In the end, i was the first speaker, Rupini the second, Samantha the third and Thilanga the last speaker since she has the ability to think on the spot very well. The argument was whether Terri Shiavo should be allowed to die. [the recent hoo-ha about euthanasia] We had loads of fun, definitely.

I remember when it was the question and answer segment, the opposing team mentioned something, and my whole team were quite frustrated that they could even ask that question because, we had already explained to them a billion times! So we all stood up at the same time, and started laughing because it was obviously not planned at all.

Anyhow, mr chai felt that this debate was going nowhere so we had to stop. Besides, the bell rang already. The other team was declared the winner because the majority of the class voted that Terri Shiavo should be killed. [oh, my team is the opposition team] But it really isnt fair because i think from the start,they already supported the idea that she should be killed, and it may not be because the other team had better points than us!

Oh well, i enjoyed myself and i think the rest of my team did too. Oh props to jennifer, margaret and jiani! They provided us with good and substantial points. (:

Trademark - Only Love
goodness, i'm infatuated with this song!

Let's get high tomorrow!

I can't wait to go out with zona, wanling and whoever tomorrow! haha.

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO WANLING my ouxiang and darling! <33

Tag replies!

JESISKA: haha. concentrate on your project you naughty girl. haha. my group hasnt even decided what topic we are going to work on for CI! haha. LOVES! ((:

lilin-: haha. usually after training, i too lazy to update! haha. so there wont be many posts on training sadly. haha. you are my fan, just too shy to admit. haha. what affair! rubbish, i got no affair. haha.

jieshi: my blog is depressing? really? haha!

jieshi: goodness. haha. so do you understand what poke is already? poke!

jieshi: my blog isnt chim! haha. but i shall take that as a compliment.

vEEna: glad you know thats lame. haha. im a very busy person you know! haha. cannot posts so often.

jieshi: i know you are, dont be shy girl.

wanling-: hello wankeling! i like to call you that. haha. LOVES! ((:

vEEna: haha. zona will be glad.

jiayan*~: my english isn't good darling, i got a B4 for SA1. so depressing, but nevermind. haha. hm? my posts too short? i need inspiration to post! no inspiration equals to no posts or short posts!

2006-08-04T20:56:00.000+08:00

Meet the parents session today wasn't that bad after all! Mr Chai said that i'm a cheerful girl who likes football alot. Don't know why he mentioned about the football part, but who's complaining? haha. He also added that i get distracted easily as mentioned by some subject teachers. Oh he also said that my area there quite noisy, so he's going to spilt the few of us up! ohmygosh, that is so sad.

I feel so sad now, but i can't possibly type that here. I think i should get myself a diary, yes i shall do that. A blog is meant to be where you can type what you feel, what you think without having all this rules and boundaries. Now, students worry if their teachers are going to read their blogs. So whats the point in us having blogs actually? I myself do not know. argh, so stressed.

2006-07-30T21:04:00.000+08:00

Emaths is killing me. I detest numbers and formulas! ):

Catechism today was good i suppose. It made me think about the possibility that i'm not yet ready to get confirmed. I had always thought that i will get confirmed in my sec3 year no matter what. I never stopped and considered if i'm spiritually ready to be confirmed.

I think it was absurd that the catechists wanted an answer as to whether we think we are ready for confirmation in just an hour or so, because this kind of question or subject matter requires patience, time and prayers. Anyhow, within that measley one hour or so, i think that i am ready to get confirmed. Not 100% sure of course, i mean who is! (:

TAG REPLIES!

stel: hello to you too! and i will definitely keep rocking on. haha! (:

jieshi: poke means..pig? haha. i dont know myself actually. haha (:

wanling-: you cheat! i should have won de. haha. i like bingo too. B-I-N-G-O andbingo was his name-o! hahaha. ((:

zona': your blog not good not good. haha. my blog better! woots! ((:

jiayan*~: spamming is no good, didnt you learn that from crush programme? haha. you are hyperactive lor! jump here jump there. haha. (:

jieshi: haha. not only zona jealous lah, i know everyone is! haha (:

vEEna: i should? woots! I would like to thank my parents, my sibling, my juniors, my fans..and not to mention myself! haha. so lame. haha (:

jesiska: you dont come and nonsense ah! i want my letter on monday. if not i dont reply you. haha. yes yes, i also have alot of difficulties tagging shermaine's blog. so i use microsoft word. open microsoft word, type whatever you want to tag down, copy and paste! haha. ingenious idea right? ((:

jesiska: haha. you ego piggy! haha. i'm sweeter and nicer! ((:

vEEna: whats WEEWAWEEE? haha. is that even suppose to mean anything? haha. (:

-feeling so bloody stressed

2006-07-27T19:45:00.000+08:00

-Hiding behind a cheerful facade

I'm getting all this horrible marks for so many tests. I'm beginning to realise how slack and how not serious i have been about schoolwork this whole term. I'm so ashamed of it. I need motivation badly.

Not only is my academic area giving me troubles. Shoot, i think i'm stressed.

Anyhow, jesiska is so super crappy! Like her usual self of course. Our letters to each other are contentless! Jesiska! you must reply me a content-filled letter okay? Not to mention small handwriting, dont leave any lines and no double spacing. ((: LOVES!

Lessons in school are getting boring. I cant wait for national day to come, lets be patriotic citizens and adorn our country's colours everyday till national day! so rubbish. heck.

The english oral yesterday was quite easy. I think the teacher prompted me once during the conversation part. Why did i get two unrelated questions during conversation while some only get one? Does it mean that perhaps, i didn't really answer to the point in the first question, hence the examiner decided to ask me a second one? crap.

Chinese oral and two tests next week. wish me luck.

-you are making my life miserable you know? i wish you would vanish

2006-07-25T22:06:00.000+08:00

I realised how long since i've last blogged. Well, i've been pretty busy [lazy actually]. The internet isn't that interesting anymore, the television appeals to me nowadays! Seems like everyone is planning to watch the pirates of the carribean. I didn't watch the first movie, so doubt i'll be watching the second.

Anyhow, I've got very low for my amaths common test. Scored a single digit actually. The thing is that i could have passed if not for my careless mistake for the coordinate geometry question. Wasted, but i get to learn from my mistake. I've mentally prepared myself 2 days before the common test that my possibility of failing is 98%, so i didnt really feel upset when i saw the marks. Just that this is the lowest marks i've ever scored in any test my whole entire life. well, there's a first time for everything.

Training was fun, especially when joanne and i broke the record with 688 consequetive backhand strokes! Thats my favourite number presently. Oh that zona is crazy and infatuated over my camera, melissa too. They are so easily entertained.

JESISKA WRITES VERY SWEET LETTERS! LOVES! ((: i'm going to treasure that letter you wrote loads dear!

TAG REPLIES!

wanling-: im bored too! we should figure out some games to play or some things to do when we get bored, which is practically all the time! haha. lets play bingo! haha. ((:

jesiska: so lame. must be so formal meh! haha. and no problem dear! ((:

jieshi: oi! what you mean by that. so mean lah you poke! haha

jiayan*~: wo hen hao, xie xie ni! haha. whats with the chinese thing? haha.

jesiska: yay! i never see you online de. i want the nice nice picture of us! haha. updated ((:

lilin-: haha lazy mah. now updated le! proud of me? haha. everyone is my fan lah! haha. what me and my affair! i got no affair lor!! haha. so rubbish!

vEEna: you are a junior too, and you're tagging! haha. good good. tag more tag more.

2006-07-09T21:31:00.000+08:00

GERMANY WON PORTUGAL! ((:
sad that ballack didnt play though. thats one of the reasons why i didnt stay up to watch the match. haha. 3rd place goes to germany! i like bronze, dont you? haha

TAG REPLIES!!

zona': haha. i want france to win italy leh. that stupid italy kick germany out. but nevermind! we both agreed not to support any of the two teams right? yay! so we shall both boycott french and italian stuff. no more pasta! deliFRANCE! pizza! i still want to eat french fries though. haha. ((:

zona': i'm not going to buy for you a torres jersey lah! dream on. haha. unless you buy me a ballack's jersey, then i might consider. haha! ((:

junling: yes yes! captain ballack rocks! i love #13 and thanks for the badge thingy that you help me make!

junling: i was so sad when michelle sms and said ballack not playing!! but nevermind, he work so hard the whole competition le. must let him rest. haha

lilin-: he's okay lah. haha. not bad.

yusin: no i didnt watch!!

yusin: the match not that interesting since ballack didnt play right? i know i know. haha. was kahn good? i like lehmann. so pro

jieshi aka banana seed: eh, bye? haha

sher: i want a #13 jersey!! haha

sher: no no, you got it all mixed up. you buy for me #13 jersey, and then if you have enough money, then you buy for yourself a #11 jersey! haha. deal? good deal. i want my #13 jersey ah! haha ((:

2006-07-05T19:08:00.000+08:00

I'M SO SAD! GERMANY LOST )):

nevermind, i know they did their best! I'll support germany forever. blackredyellow!
Oh, i think michael ballack is so cool in terms of attitude and looks. He has got this very rough and gangster look, which is so hot. So sad he cried! ah, i want to cry with him. i'm going to boycott all italian foodstuff and things from now on!

I doubt i'm going to watch any more world cup matches! I'll watch the germany vs which ever country that loses today, and hope they will get 3rd placing. I want a germany's jersey! Who will be the kind soul that buys it for me?

#13 MICHAEL BALLACK

2006-07-01T11:08:00.000+08:00

GERMANY!!

I am so happy and excited right now!! GERMANY! GERMANY!!

MIROSLAV KLOSE!!

MICHAEL BALLACK!! (also known as captain ballack!)

JENS LEHMANN!!

Yay!

2006-06-22T22:28:00.000+08:00

I <3 pictures of reflections! ((:

Okay so today started off like a normal training day. Wake up early, bathe, eat a little and then off to school. Training was okay today, finally jesiska came! yay! haha. So yah, it was typical training i guess.

After training we went to toa payoh interchange to eat at the foodcourt. Jesiska and i ate chicken rice, shermaine ate lor mee, wanling and zona ate some claypot thing. haha. oh and shermaine talked about how she didn't like to waste food and all, but she refused to eat the fishcake saying that fishcake is an exception. haha. tsktsk!

We left the foodcourt and shermaine walked super fast with zona and jesiska lagging behind taking pictures of themselves. haha. I have to admit jesiska's handphone rocks, except the fact that we cant bluetooth songs! haha. We took mrt to yishun, before taking a bus to shermaine's house!

Once we reached and settled down in shermaine's room, we were all hard at work! Except shermaine, she was sleeping. haha. must be tired because of staying up watching football all night. haha. So anyway, zona, wanling and i couldnt stop laughing! haha. it was like an infectious disease or something. haha. Jesiska was too busy doing her work to even realise why we were laughing. haha.

At about 4.30pm or something, shermaine forced us to eat some food. But none of us ate except for jesiska. haha. we forced her to eat on behalf of all of us. haha. And jesiska is like scared of shermaine's younger brother!! haha. He kept calling her jes-ka claiming that it was the short form of jesiska. haha. and shermaine is so scary towards him! haha. so fierce! hahaha. oh and shermaine's guitar has this feather-like thing [zona called it that] which makes this extra sound effects when she's strumming her guitar. haha. and i tried to take a pic of her strumming her guitar but she deleted it. eeyer. so bad. haha.

So yes, after that at about 5pm, we left her house and shermaine's mother kindly sent us to the mrt! thanks! ((: haha. i managed to complete all my homework! i'm so happy that today was a productive day!! yay!

I <3 us!!
I <3 samantha!!

2006-06-21T18:18:00.000+08:00

Looking forward to the study group after training with thecliqueseven!! ((: I hope everyone can make it though. And after so many weeks, I get to hear jesiska crapping about how wonderful she is again! ((:

Today had to meet shermaine, wanling and felicia to do the reflections on cip, and guess what? we did more than that! we definitely set a WORLD RECORD! haha. We met at J8 and then proceeded to longjohnsilvers to eat breakfast [only shermaine and wanling ate] and to do the reflections!

We sat there from 10am to 11.30am. At about that time, we came up with our first sentence! yes, first sentence. haha. It wasn't actually our fault because the place hung all this football pictures and banners thing, which obviously distracted our dearest shermaine. haha. She kept digressing to football matches with felicia while wanling and i crapped about random stuff. haha. i blame the media! ((:

We continued crapping and thinking of what to write for the reflections. Shermaine wrote alot though, i mean, she is the english genius among the four of us! haha. Felicia and i realised that we dont know how to phrase sentences very well, always having to resort to asking shermaine for help! haha.

After that we decided to draw lots and call some random people in cgtt and ask them how they felt about the cip at the old folk's home. We wanted a general opinion and not just our biased opinions, and maybe also because we were becoming quite desperate. haha. So many people never pick up their phones! oh, and daphne came up with the best reflections ((: so crappy!

Oh then lunchtime came, so Wanling, Felicia and i went to buy lunch. shermaine wanted to go home and eat, because its free. haha. so when we went to buy our food, we realised how well shermaine works when we arent there! haha. she was writing so fast! then when we come back, she couldn't concentrate again with us there. hahaha. when shes alone, she is super efficient!! haha! After we ate, we decided to go before the staff throw us out.

Then we walked around for quite long looking for jesiska's bday pressie. and finally, we found something suitable! yay! i hope she likes it though ((: i still havent buy jennifer's pressie! ah! haha. cant find anything to buy, i shall try and look around again tomorrow. haha.

We went to wanling's house after going to ntuc to complete the reflections. But guess what! felicia asked wanling if she had the sports channel on scv, and she has!! So we did the reflection and watched the english vs sweden match at the same time [shermaine was eating maggi mee also] haha. felicia went to call her sister to show off that shes watching the match. haha. so funny!

We did manage to complete the reflections at about 3-4pm? haha. Then we started just lazing around while wanling typed it out. haha. poor shermaine deleted a picture she likes so much by accident! haha. and then she started whining and pouting. hahahaha. so wanling, felicia and i took this new picture of some words we typed on the com and made it her new wallpaper!! haha. she should thank us, because its nice! hahaha. After that, we all went home! ((: what a long day

I MISS SAMANTHA! )):

2006-06-19T19:05:00.000+08:00

Yay! Jesiska is back in Singapore! haha. miss you loads darling! (:

I spent the whole day recopying the physics class lecture notes, still have the av theatrette ones. ahh. I think my IT course is tomorrow, i'm not that sure. haha. Should be tomorrow, since shermaine's one is tomorrow. haha. That means i cant go training! ahh, why must they make this IT course last for so long! I bet they want to kill us, because its really quite boring [heard from others]. Is it possible to pon after lunch break? haha. i hope so!

I still have to do 2003 amaths paper and physics report! But physics report i can only do on Thursday after michelle lends me her experiment results. Amaths paper i hope to finish by wednesday. Then maybe i can start studying for the horribly important physics test and map reading from friday to school reopens.

I suddenly feel so stressed. I'm not confident about map-reading because i wasnt paying any attention to mrs koh during lesson. ahhh! who can teach me!! )):

2006-06-18T10:42:00.000+08:00

Tsktsk, my blog seems to attract an unwanted person, by the name of..Ladida? haha. I have to admit that is the first time i ever saw that name before. haha. Anyways, she/he, whatever, keeps leaving this no content, senseless tags! Only know how to criticize people. sighs, sadly he/she isn't the only of that sort of people, but many others like him/her are out there. Let's pray for them.

And Ladida, i dont know if its limelight or attention that you want, but you aren't going to get it here. So yeah, find another blog to "put down" okay? If you dont heed this, i guess there is nothing i can do but take it that i am a nice person to continue letting this no-life person tag. haha. i'm fine with it, whatever darling.

I MISS SAMANTHA!
I MISS JESISKA!
I MISS thecliqueseven!

2006-06-14T12:57:00.000+08:00

PS: people, dont get me wrong. i'm not pushing the blame onto denise. i still consider her my bestie! ((:

2006-06-13T21:26:00.000+08:00

To: Charmian

I doubt you ever come to my blog, but here it goes. I'm not sure why i'm actually doing this, maybe its because i want to let you know that i was 100% sincere when i actually apologised to you through sms a week or two ago. I heard that you doubted my sincerity, and that got me well, mad of course. I plucked up enough courage to let go of my pride to apologise, and you doubted my well intentions. So, i took back the apology.

Why did i ostracize you? I actually dont have any reason for that. Its just that well, it seems as if i had to choose between you and denise.I mean with you two not really getting along and all. And i chose denise, because i felt that she and i clicked more. From then on, i guess i could only see all your bad points and never your good points. Its wrong of me to have chosen a friend over another, i know.

Why did i even decide to apologise? Well, thats because i realised how depressing it is to be dao-ed by a friend. I experienced that, and so i thought you might have felt like that too. Hence, deciding to apologise. Another reason is because, i do enjoy hanging out with you in class and all. Not that i ever admitted it, but you are a nice person and i know that. Now, i dont think i'm ever going to apologise knowing that you, would not accept it. Its like a waste of my time to apologise to you.

But i welcome if you think that maybe hey, i was sincere in my apology after all, and that maybe you would accept it. [percentage is low, but heck] I dont mind having another friend, seriously. But if you really dont think i am sincere about it at all, then its okay. I dont mind either. I'm neutral about the situation.

To: Mandy and Christabel

Another two who wont come to my blog, but heck. Hm, i was wondering about something. And maybe you two can enlighten me? You two were angry at me for ostracizing charmian right? Saying i was mean to her and all? Then why was it okay for you two to ostracize rachel ong last year, and such a crime for me to be ostracizing charmian [no offence]? You guys were super mean to rachel ong if i recalled. Isnt it the same thing? Just curious.

2006-06-13T20:21:00.000+08:00

Two years of friendship gone, just like that. But it doesnt matter, i realised what a waste of time it was, being her friend.
On the bright side, i just met this wonderful funny girl, called Kathleen from chji katong convent. haha. ((:

I miss Samantha loads!
I want to gossip with her!
I want to sing with her oldies!
I want to sit with her in term3 and nobody's stopping us!! (((: [triple smile!]

Goodness, i just have to do the physics report, one amath paper and english book review and then i'm done! Shall be ambitious and try to finish by this week. haha. i know, impossible! ((:
Oh by the way, i just went to kathleen's blog, and i adore one of her posts! so absolutely hilarious. she has guts! hahaha.

- you are a superficial piece of shit

2006-06-09T19:06:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESISKA ((: loads of love

Today was a good day, well sort of. Woke up and met michelle, zona and shermaine at kovan. Needless to say, both zona and shermaine were late! haha. Cant blame them though, they live far away. And when michelle called wanling, guess what? wanling was still at home. haha. sad that daphne cannot make it too and jesiska, the birthday girl is not in singapore! So it was just 4/7 of theCLIQUEseven that made it.

Shermaine, was once again all black. haha. typical her. so we went to yoshinoya to eat, and the three of them ate the teriyaki chicken while i ate the beef with vegetables! yumyum ((: We were crapping about junior colleges and all. Shermaine seems very against polytechnics, and she said its because they have exams during holidays! haha. Three of them seem to be aiming for vjc! haha. i'm aiming for cjc though! i like the uniform. haha. so crap.

After we finished eating, we went upstairs to look for this special something that all of us seven in theCLIQUEseven should have! We went to minitoons [for fun] before going to Yellow. Didn't find anything too. We just kept walking and shermaine decided to go into the sports shop. As usual, she was attracted by the caps, black ones. haha. zona wanted to buy fbt but they didnt sell. haha.

Then we finally decided to go gift a name. We spent so long in there okay! like half hour to one hour? we are very fickled minded people. haha. We were trying to calculate the cost of the bracelet mentally, but i guess the shop assistant pitied us, so she passed us a calculator. haha.

so first, we had to choose which strap we wanted. then we chose which font we wanted the letters to be [took a long time for this], before choosing a cute animal to "represent" us individually. Sher, mich and i chose black bracelets while zona chose a light blue one. Then we all used the bubbly alphabet type of font with an upside down "L" as the "7". Shermaine and zona chose the bear [which we all thought was a pig], mich chose a octopus [the woman called it a sotong] and i chose a hippo for the animals character thing. haha.

WANLING DAPHNE AND JESISKA! one day we shall bring all three of you to get your very own theCLIQUEseven bracelets! ((:

zona and i learnt that shermaine is super skinny. gross! haha.

i cant wait for school to reopen, i want to see my darling samantha! ((:

shoot, when is my IT course days ah. DENISE!!

2006-06-08T20:52:00.000+08:00

Guess what? i am falling in love with us, theCLIQUEseven! ahh! gosh, i love us loads (:
Zona, Wanling, Jesiska, Shermaine, Michelle goh and Daphne - you guys rock my world <33

So i was "stabbed" by Nicole ng to do this. so here i go:

The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now. [obviously i miss my darlings ((:]
I dont watch TV these days. [that would be when pigs fly]
I wear glasses or contact lenses. [spectacles is a much preferred word]
I love to play video games. [not since i was ten or so]
I've tried marijuana. [goodness, im not that insane!]
I have been in a threesome. [i hope you dont mean what i think you mean, cause thats gross]
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. [never been in a relationship! (:]
I believe honesty is usually the best policy. [i believe in it, doesnt mean i keep to it]
I curse sometimes. [come on, who doesnt? usually when i'm really pissed though]
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. [well, i hope i did]
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. [why the heck would i do that?]
I'm TOTALLY smart. [totally]
I've broken someone's bones. [nope, not yet]
I'm paranoid sometimes. [all the time]
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. [i think thats pathetic]
I need money right now. [since forever. care to donate?]
I love sushi. [i think its unhygenic]
I talk really,really fast. [not really, that only happens when i memorised something]
I have long hair. [relatively long, plan to get it layered and trimmed a little soon]
I have lost money in Las Vegas. [never been to america, happy?]
I have at least one sibling. [yeah, an older brother]
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. [obviously not. who's as vain as that?]
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. [not really]
I like the way i look. [most of the times. i accept the way God made me]
I am usually pessimistic. [i'm not too sure, but i think i'm 51% of the time pessimistic]
I have a lot of mood swings. [definitely, i'm a teenager! what do you expect]
I have a hidden talent. [not that i know of]
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have. [nope, not born hyper-active]
I have a lot of friends. [i have a few friends, who are dear to me. thats all i want]
I am currently single. [yes i am]
I have pecked someone of the same sex. [er, no.]
I enjoy talking on the phone. [depends on who i am talking too]
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. [gross, no!]
I love to shop. [obviously, which girl doesnt?]
Enjoy window shopping. [no, its so painful to look at things you desperately want but cant buy]
I would rather shop then eat. [no, im more of a pig]
I don't hate anyone. [like as if]
I'm a pretty good dancer. [keep dreaming]
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. [definitely not]
I have a cell phone. [yeah, and i cant live without it]
I believe in God. [yeah, i do. ever since i was a little baby! ((:]
I watch MTV on a daily basis. [no, i think MTV is boring at times]
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. [i drank alter wine once, and i hate it. so i will never be caught drunk]
I've rejected someone before. [nope, never had the chance too. ha]
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life. [obviously not. i have an ambition in mind]
I want to have children in the future. [depends really]
I have changed a diaper before. [never and not looking forward too]
I've called the cops on a friend before. [nope, but i will soon if she keeps acting pathetic]
I'm not allergic to anything. [not too sure about this]
I have a lot to learn. [duh, i'm only 15 for goodness sake]
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. [once again, never had one!]
I am shy around the opposite sex. [hah, right.]
I have tried alcohol before. [not if you think alter wine is counted]
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. [nope, but i know of someone who did]
I own the "South Park" movie. [no, i think they are lamee]
I would die for my best friends. [okay, maybe not dying? but i would love to think i would]
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. [i still prefer Domino]
I have used my sexuality to advance my career. [use sexuality in school? goodness, you have a vivid imagination]
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all. [i only like one song of his, "heal the world"]
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. [hello? no halloween in singapore!]
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it. [ha. not as childish as that]
I am happy at this moment! [yes i am! because i keep thinking of my darlings theCLIQUEseven <3]
I'm obsessed with guys. [no,not obsessed, but i know of someone who is]
I study for tests most of the time. [haha. right. hence me getting a C5?]
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. [i dont really pay much attention to shoelaces]
I am comfortable with who I am right now. [once again, no one!]
I have more than just my ears pierced. [okay, thats gross]
I walk barefoot wherever i can. [like no.]
I have jumped off a bridge. [why would i do that?]
I love sea turtles. [i love all animals (:]
I spend ridiculous money on makeup. [never bought a single makeup]
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream. [dont have one]
I'm proficient in a musical instrument. [hence me taking grade 5 practical 3 years and not passing]
I worked at McDonald's restaurant. [nope, never did]
I hate office jobs. [i dont know what its like]
I love sci-fi movies. [whats sci-fi? haha. jesiska, do you know? haha. (:]
I think water rules. [you dont mean drinking water right?]
I went college out of state. [still in secondary school here]
I like sausages. [i do, but not obsessed over them]
I love kisses. [goodness, never done that!]
I fall for the worst people. [ha. no.]
I adore bright colours. [prefer black and navy blue]
I can't live without black eyeliner. [never tried using one before]
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. [okay, so maybe i do know. nicole stabbed me!]
I usually like covers better than originals. [huh?]
I can pick up things with my toes. [never tried, maybe i should try]
I can't whistle. [you got me there]
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither. [nope, cant]
I have ridden/owned a horse. [rode one, dont own one]
I still have every journal I've ever written in. [nope, too many, cant keep count, cant keep all]
I can't stick to a diet. [quite true, that sucks]
I talk in my sleep. [how the heck would i know? i am asleep!]
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. [agreed]
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. [never tried]
I have jazz in my blood. [nope, i prefer pop. ha]
I wear a toe ring. [no, isnt it uncomfortable?]
I have a tattoo. [right, i think tattoos are horrid]
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with. [not work, same class. who doesnt?]
I am a caffeine junkie. [mainly coffee]
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is. [no idea what that means]
I have been to over 15 conventions. [no, im not that bored]
I will collect anything, and the more nonsesical the better. [nope, i wont]
I'm an artist. [i can only draw a stick man]
I only clean my room when necessary. [sorry, im born to be a pigg]
I like a person of the same sex. [nope, hope not]
I love being happy. [who doesnt for goodness sake]
I am an adrenaline junkie. [nope, no im not]

THE FIVE LUCKY PEOPLE TO BE STABBED BY ME:
-shermaine
-wanling
-zona
-michelle goh
-jesiska

I JUST ABSOLUTELY ADORE theCLIQUEseven ((:

2006-06-03T15:18:00.000+08:00

I couldnt really remember what kind of person i was in lower secondary. Did i hate anyone? Did i find good friends that i will treasure for life? I went "back into time" and decided to copy some blog posts here! haha. i realised what a short-tempered and angry girl i was! goodness, horrible. haha.

to the sucking bitch:U are such a kiss up n suck up lor. U think people like u but actually answer is no. u are like so beyond hope anymore.nobody can stand you except those who u act guai infront of. so wad if u can be vulgar, u think i can't arh u bitch.u damn bitch purposely act guai infront of ppl u like, for example the obvious one is seniors.u pretend to be close to them n pretend dat u have e best attitude among all of us. who u think u are lor. u are just worse den us.the attitude u have sucks alot k. u also boss us around lor..wad e heck.we are all sec1s n nobody should boss each other around.dat is plain bitchy.do u think i care if u suck up a lil? too bad coz u suck up too much dat nobody can take it anymore. u n ur stupid temper.when u angry all of us give into u.n u take advantage of that by venting ur damn anger on us. i really feel like calling a bitch in ur face man. u think u r e only person on earth dat feels depressed n down? when we feel down, not only do we get depressed but ur damn temper makes it worse. i really feel like exploding in ur bloody face man. ppl sympathize with u when u make urself look so pitiful. do ya noe of how pathetic u are or not.ppl dun sympathize with ur troubles but ur patheticness. u r just taking advantage of other ppl's kindness everytime.we r not born to be under u lor.think again mans...u are the worse bitch i have ever come across.ur damn bloody attitude needs a makeover.

to the grp of irritating assholes:u ppl are yet another kind lor.irritating pests.cant u just like keep ur mouth shut more often or not arh.damn annoying lor. scream n scream n scream. forgotten u got classmates rite.shitters.u ppl arh.scream like hell n annoy people so much.ppl tell u all "shut up" n den u get angry.wads ur bloody problem lor. den ppl tok a lil bit u must complain say noisy.u compare ur noise level to ours n see how long u can compare.u ppl shut up if not u have no rite to tell us to shut up as and when u want silence.we also wan silence sometimes but wun tell u all to shut up coz u get angry.now u ppl are definitely getting on ppl's nerves already can. u damn group of people need to be shut up n taught a big damn lesson

to that critizing bitch:here it goes. u only noe how to critisize other ppl rite. i really had enuff of u n ur damn nonsense mind u and so will others.u critisize ppl when u r angry n u always think that u are right.just wanna knock ur head on the bloody wall n wake u up from ur perfect dream.coz u are so not perfect.no one is in fact. dun tell me u din haf the common sense to figure dat out.some ppl can just pretend that all e words u have said badly about them are invisible but i simply cant.i had enough of giving in to you also already. i really feel like punching ur damn face.n stop giving ur pitiful looking face to ppl.u another suck up.ergh!

-23/07/04

Goodness, did i hate this people so much? haha. hmm, i think i know who i was scolding in this blog post. glad to say that now i enjoy the company of the "group of irritating assholes" and that i think "critizing bitch" is very comical. i still hate the "sucking bitch" though. haha. i sounded so immature in my posts! haha. its like as if i cant express myself properly, hence using such lousy english! haha. gosh, i did grow up ((:

Damnit.life just sucks.i realise that my supposedly good friends are keepin secrets or at least things from me.i guess u guys are trying to tell me we arent good friends?! argh! to think i tot we were almost best friends,thanks alot. make up ur mind whether u wanna be my friend, which i realli wish would be a yes, and dun keep on changing ur mind.i'm still a human tat has feelings.

-14/03/05

oh no! i think i know who i'm referring too in this blog post too! goodness, nevermind. so now at least i'm comforted by the fact that our friendship has gone through lots of rough times [including one that we just managed to get over], but we are still friends! maybe not the best of friends, but i do treausre your friendship. (:

Jesiska
Okays, so u've been realli nice to me since forever. you arh,sucha smarty pants.dun like you.everything also get higher than me wan.=X i bet you can get into IP or any stream that you wan so stop worrying so much kay? haha.you are like too easy to be bullied liao.so mandy and i are training you to become a lil more hard hearted.hehs.everyone in class most likely noes about the lil secret.it wasnt suppose to be like told to others la!but nvmd,haha.this kinda thing is hard to keep a secret coz its so true..crushes crushes..hahaha XD shall keep my mouth shut from now on k?[not as if anyone doesnt noe about it]. and i still dun get how drinking fizzy drinks can make you cry!! seriously it makes no sense lah. ohya,and dun think that becoz jesiska is skinny doesnt mean she eats v lil. she eats like alot wan lah.haha.and i love ur new hair..so thin..so nice..so nice..haha.hmms,let together try for vjc or triple science. jiayou!! =))

Wanling
Ms tabletennis champ. hello! i noe u shall become singapore's next li jiawei! when you become so famous pls dun ever forget me, ur nicenice friend.haha.u arh, veh cute cute wan! i like i like! then your tabletennis pro pro wan. u arh,too efficient as a chinese rep liao lah.haha.but u're nice coz u let me hand in my hw late sometimes..i dun understand why u let chris aka bella become ur personal secretary lor..she so blur sotong wan.haha.anyways, u are a wonderful and helpful friend.always so willing to help teach me how to serve xia quan! so sweet lah u.haha.now u arh become abit siaosiao wan coz of nicole's influence. haha. can go to woodbridge liao le!! accompany me kk? i down there v lonely no one to tok too. hehs. anyways, rock on and pls rmb me when u become a national player! jiayou!! =))

Christabel aka bella aka reena aka david
Wahkao...how come ur name so long de..take up so much space.haha.u lah.tok so much during science lesson then ms thang keep staring at us. all ur fault. now my good student image has disppeared!! XD okay..wadeva lah.haha. i hafta admit that ur badminton is pro..u always haf training then see u all run alot. haha. gd for u lah.hmms, u literature genius lah. u chao mean can..never help me improve my literature.ohya,i'm awfully sorry bout pulling ur hair out coz i din cut it properly[can u sense the sacarsm?] u siaosiao wan also.become wanling's personal secretary..pls lah.wanling was juz nice to accept u with all ur lousy qualifications.hahaha. IQ low..EQ low..dun even noe how to be angry for more than 40sec..tsktsktsk.haha. then u like always get into trouble with ur chi teacher for not handing in hw..oh why did i hafta get u as a partner. okays, i shall not be mean anymore.Hard to admit this,but christabel, u haf been a nice,helpful and comical partner.made lessons more interesting oso.haha. but so fun to bully u leh!! =D okays, anyways, jiayou!! =))

Weiting aka grand daughter
Ahma loves you wor!! =) yes i love my grand daughter alot. i din noe when i became her ahma but i never regretted. haha. sitting behind her is so fun lah..got to noe u better and find that u are a real nice,helpful,caring and funny friend. yesh. so happie that i got to noe u better this term!!haha.u arh, so notti wan. always playing and laughing then kenna sick so mani mani times. u must learn how to control ur playfulness lah darling!!haha.dun always get urself sick by playing so muchh. and weiting loves chloey and angel!! yay~ weiting, u haf good taste! unlike some bella i noe of. =X hms, her chinese chao pro wan la!! so scarie k..haha. then now she has 'grown up' and has a 'pop group' of her own called 'Porkstar' so cute wan leh their logo..haha.. Porkstar is nice =P lynette also like weiting, abit siaosiao wan..thats why they make a great pair in Porkstar!! okays, weiting, i will be ur ahma forever kk? jiayou!! =))

Jaime
my darling tuition buddy!! science tuition can be a bore at times, so jaime is my talking friend during science tuition..haha. she rocks k? she joined my tuition when i asked if she could join to accompany me. now thats wad gd friends do.haha. hmms, she this girl veh enthu about alot of things like the buzz @ canteen! she dance damn natural lor.got a kinda twist de.haha. dats why she does cheerleading too. she is like talented in the dancing area. =D she also another good in chinese de.somemore higher chinese lor!! pro!! haha. teach me teach me. shes also good in geog right? yah i think so. and she totally loves oleander..bottle oso orange in colour de.haha. i love her youngest sister, michelle. shes so adorable lah. love her to bits. dun worrie, i like e oldest sister too!! hmms, dunno which stream u wanna go too leh..anyways..u must...jiayou!! =))

Shermaine
i still dun believe that u can be tired of brownies lor..i mean it has chocolate in it!! how can ms shermaine lou, the queen of chocolates, be sian of brownies. besides the fact that it is chewy..i dun geddit. and u somemore wanted my chocolate earlier. tsk. u so fickled minded. haha. u another smarty pants. why u take my science notes then can score higher than me. i dun care, next time i dun lend u le..i wan u to tuition me literature. ur literature so pro wan lor..u must help me with lit!! if not i smack u hor.haha.u another tabletennis pro person. dun like u lah. all rounder kind..envious! i love ur 'la qiu'..so cool! the ball fly so fast..if kenna hit sure get one big red spot wan lor.haha. dun like u dun like u dun like u..how can u be so mean n be an all rounder?! u wanna make me jealous right?? hmph. anyways, jiayou!! =))

-27/06/05

This was the first dedications i ever did on a blog! haha. i took out some dedications from the original posts, because i find it not very appropriate now. i cant believe i praised shermaine using one whole paragraph! ahh! goodness. what rubbish. haha. and i conclude that jesiska is my ultimate honey! ((:

I have just deleted all the posts on this blog except the last one because i realized that i have bitched about others in all those posts. I dont want to hang on to that past because i never want to be that person again.

-05/09/05

Well, golly. i am proud of myself for that! haha. i think at that time, i was really very inspired to be forgiving and loving to everyone including people i hate, because of the sec2 church camp! haha. i hope i can keep it up ((:

Jesiska aka TandyCandy
You are one cute, paranoid and naive little girl! Always so worried that I'm angry with you and all. I will never get angry with you, I will only ostracize you when i am in a bad mood. In fact i ostracize almost everyone when i am in the bad mood. You see? I don't get angry with my dearest friend! =)I got to know you like at the beginning of our cedar life last year because you happened to get into tabletennis! But we didn't become good friends until the end of last year. You have also been a good friend to me, bearing with all my nonsense and crap. You are the one the kept our friendship going, and obviously i am grateful for that. You rock. =) Luckily, we will still be in the same CCA next year.I'm honoured to be the one to bring you back to the catholic church. I enjoy your company in church too! You are one holy girl too, always praying such long prayers. Haha. You never seem to get angry or even dislike anyone, until maybe this last two terms. First time i see you 'dao-ing' a person and showing her the irritated face. Haha. I'm proud of you! =) No, actually, you shouldn't be like me, always hating people and all. It's not what God want us to do, He wants us to love our neighbours as we love ourself.Let's both try not to dislike her anymore ok dear?Jesiska here is another smartass. She got forth in class for overall end-year examinations! She got A1 for so many subjects, and is still afraid she cannot get into triple science stream. You need to have more faith in yourself! Haha. She is also a very crap and nonsensical young lady! She was so enthusiastic about cleaning up the class on the last day of school! Haha, you are so cute can!So i just want to thank you being such a nice and caring friend to me. =))

Christabel aka chrissy bella
My dearest table partner for the last two terms of school! I really enjoy your company during lessons, always making the boring lessons fun and interesting with your sense of humour. I know that you are obsessed with disney princesses, Aladdin, Three little pigs and so on so forth. Haha. Sorry for all the times that i ostracized you without any reason for doing so. =(I knew you since the first day we stepped into Cedar because you sat behind me! Haha. But once again, we did not become good friends until like this year? Quite late in the year too. Haha. I guess this shows that one has to take time to realise one's good friends. So we became table partners since about mid-term2? You are always getting picked on by Miss Tan, and me sitting beside you cause me to land into that same fate you were in. Haha. But it really isn't our fault that we had too much saliva to spare, now is it? haha.Christabel is one holy girl too! I mean, when she gives advice, although quite seldom, she will connect whatever the topic is, to what God wants us to do and all. Although her giving advice is quite seldom, whenever she does, it is all carefully thought out and relatively good too. She has always ended up to be the bigger person given her forgiving personality. I think i might try to be like her in this area! Haha. She has a big ego which is really hard to deflate, I guess you might say that it is a good thing that she has so much self-esteem. This kind of people would not be defeated that easily.I remember sms-ing you alot on one topic as well [sssh!] causing your handphone bill to 'bao'! Haha. It was fun though, wasn't it? Haha. Cutting down on the sms-es now however, wait she get into trouble again because of me. Haha. This girl here is a professional badminton player! The school should treasure her talent, because she is really very good! When Jesiska and I saw her play for the first time, our jaws literally dropped and touched the floor.She is also very strong in the english language and literature too! My two most horrid subjects. Haha. She helped me improve my literature too =) I managed to pass thanks to you dear! Haha. She listens to alot of christian pop songs, introduced some of them to me as well. Loved all of them.Good luck with *coughs*ahem*coughs* and must show me next time ok? =)) Haha. Love ya =D

-29/10/05

The second dedications i ever did. once again, i left out some dedications from the original blog post. hmm, why do i think jesiska rocks so much? and christabel, only now do i realise how hurting and upsetting it is to be ostracized, and i'm very sorry for putting you through hell so many billion times over the past two and a half years.

What if i begin to realise that a person, who is supposed to be my good friend, is not really considered a good friend anymore? I hate when this happens, it happened so many times before, and i lost many 'good' friends because of that. I don't want it to happen again, but i can't help it. I feel as if she and i cannot be good friends, that we do not really 'click' as friends anymore. What am i suppose to do? I can't start ignoring her and ostracizing her because i really don't want to hurt her feelings. I still care for her as a friend, but not a good friend. I can't possibly just go up to her and tell her that i don't think she has the good friend material or whatever you call it. I'm at a loss what to do right now. She is really a sweet person and all, but, somehow, i don't really like her company. I don't look forward to hanging out with her as i did before. I don't know really, the fact that she is a sweet and nice person makes it harder for me to do anything about it. Someone, please help me. =(

-07/11/05

seriously. whats wrong with me! why do i keep questioning whether she and i are good friends? i know, because i feel insecure. i treasure her too much as a friend. sounds illogical? wait till you experience it.

Thats all the posts i could find which is interesting for the past two years! haha. i guess i havent changed that much huh?

2006-06-02T20:13:00.000+08:00

I'm suddenly crazy about westlife again! Westlife is special to me okay! Its the first band i ever listened to in my life! [besides christian songs of course] I especially like Against All Odds!! I know you do too! haha.

- Friends are people who are with you through everything. i found mine (:

So anyway, i have been going to school everyday this week! disgusting. At least i have an excuse for not doing my homework though. haha. Today had to go back to school for 3 hours of Amath lesson!! Actually, we spent an hour on coordinate geometry [which rocks by the way], and two hours on organising the maths trail for lower secondary pupils! So Caili, Margaret, Samantha and i were a group. [ realise all are in npcc except me?]

Margaret taught me how to use their npcc compass in the courtyard and i understood in less than five minutes! Its really easy to learn, interesting too! haha. It was mrs chew's idea to do bearings for the question. haha. and guess what? our ladder is 39m high! haha. 13 storeys mind you! scary to climb!! (:

Samantha and Margaret were mainly the ones who thought about the questions, scenarios and solved to find the answers. I was really blurr-ed by the amount of numbers involved! haha. our group was the last to finish creating the questions, must be because ours is the best! haha. Suria and i were discussing about the flagday and all sorts of nonsense. so fun! haha.

- i'm hiding behind a facade that is impenetratable

TAG REPLIES

denise: hello bestie! save me, because i really cant stand her! she is so attention-seeking and desperate. ah! haha. i guess i'm on your side again then! i tried to be nice, but was forced to take back my apology when she doubted my sincerity. tsk. love you loads honey! let us try to survive our IT course together! (:

SAM: hello my darling! thanks for trying to cheer me up! and dont feel useless okay? i just dont feel comfortable talking about it to anyone. i really appreciate you being there when i'm down and depressed. you being there is enough comfort. i wonder what i would do without you! and yes, lets trick the new form teacher and be table partners again! if not, i would miss you ever so much!! LOVES (((: [triple smile!]

wanling: yay! i love my ouxiang loads! i loved the outing we had at J8 that day after cip! it was so fun and cool. haha. lets both rock on and persevere! (:

jesiska: aye! why you tag my blog always so short wan. eeyer. haha. oh no, im going to miss you loads when you fly back to indonesia! do take care of yourself and know that you'll be missed loads by me!! (: oh, i want a present too! haha. love you!! ((:

zona: haha! yah. loulou super blur. haha. enjoyed going out with you that day! stupid loulou abandon us on the bus. tsk. haha. (:

stella: thanks girl. (: pass to you your letter soon!

- is this how depression feels like? wow. it sucks

2006-05-31T17:11:00.000+08:00

I think it is so cool that the whole entire 3passion06 is in top 80 for SA1 results! i'm so proud of all of us ((:

FINALLY, FLAGDAY IS HISTORY!

ohgosh, my feet are killing me. so yes, we went to collect that donation bag thing and the stickers and set off to do some flagday-ing! Rupini, Suria, Thilanga and i were a team. (:

We walked from somerset station, to orchard station, to dhobygaut station and so on. I have to admit that i'm the worse at collecting donations! haha. i couldnt even give away half the stickers on the first page! so embarressing. Thilanga, Suria and Rupini completed one page of stickers okay! so unfair. haha

It was fun though, especially when a leaf attacked Suria and when a guy tried to sport Suria because she tripped. haha. and Thilanga kept bowing to the people! haha. thats how she caught the passer-bys attention, and became so good at collecting money. oh and this guy jokingly asked thilanga for her number! ahh! so cute. haha (:

Anyways, at 2pm sharp we returned the bags and stickers remaining before Rupini went off with her friend, and Suria, Thilanga and I went to cineleisure to eat! We decided to go to KFC and i ate cheese fries! yumyum. haha. ooh, the 3 of us were crapping away in KFC talking about all sorts of random stuff. And Suria kept dropping her food! haha

We were talking about our results and i got very demoralised when Thilanga told us her results. She got A1 for all sciences! disgusting. haha. We also talked about psle results, tablepartners for next term, teachers teaching us, our cca etc. haha. after that, we walked around cineleisure looking for ear studs for suria's birthday present.

Suria took choosing the ear studs as a matter of life and death! haha. she took so long to choose the one she wanted, which was very nice by the way. It is star shaped, and the crystal thingy is purple! oh, and i found out that i cant tell the difference between purple and pink. haha. i still havent bought my daughter jennifer her birthday present! i dont know what to buy for her!! haha

after that thilanga went to cheers to buy a lollipop which costs 80cents! so expensive! rip-off. but heys, everything in town is more expensive. haha. then we walked to somerset and took mrt home. haha.

GUESS WHAT? i took back my apology. i hate the fact that you actually doubt my sincerity. if you dont want to accept, just tell me. i'm more than willing to take it back [which i did]. i think you are such a cunning person who does anything to get what you want. but heck, thats only my opinion. ah! i cant believe that i actually regretted how i treated you, and apologised, and there you are doubting my sincerity. forget that i even apologised.

On a different note, I HATE YOU THREE. you think you are all that just because you are rich? think again. i can't believe i actually thought you three would make good friends. i was proved wrong when you guys assumed and jumped to conclusion about things. you hurt me deeply, and i'll never ever trust you three again. happy that you hurt and upset me? yea, i know you are.

-whats wrong with our friendship? gosh. i seem to keep ruining it everytime we become close to each other. i'm sorry, but i'll just like to let you know that i really do treasure our friendship, maybe too much. glad things are cleared up (:

2006-05-30T17:12:00.000+08:00

ohmygosh. my whole week is packedpackedpacked!! ahhh! haha, damnit